Recent forum posts (all topics)

The relationship with my spouse has deteriorated to the point that he frequently does not recall what I say (insists I said something that I did not), and also frequently does not recall what he said ("I never said that" and "you are lying"). It is now easier for me to say nothing rather than being accused of attacking him nearly every time I speak. If I am quiet and not talking "I must be angry with him", but if I say anything then I am criticizing him.

As my ADHD partner and I have been sort of haltingly preparing to have a common future, it seems to happen increasingly that I have brought up topics that should be mutually discussed, and he doesn't seem to be hearing me (there's no response indicating "I agree", or "I disagree", "I need more information", or "I don't really care" etc. and he persists in whatever course of action or inaction was ongoing with regard to the topic) or very often he asks a question that makes it clear he doesn't recall information or an opinion I gave when we discussed the topic before.  

3 days after his ADHD diagnosis (and starting medication) my husband of 23 years told me he thinks our marriage is over.

He says our whole marriage has been a lie: that I've never known the real him and he's been acting the part of a loving husband the whole time. He says there's a block at the back of his brain that has stopped him from ever loving me as much as I love him. I don't actually believe this and nor do people who have known us well since the beginning. But it's heart breaking and frightening.

My (42F) boyfriend (43) and I broke up recently. Our relationship was so awesome at the beginning and then everything just seemed to come crashing down after we moved in together. I broke up with him after 3 months of living together. The breakup lasted 4 months. In July we got back together then I ended it about a week ago. I've been trying to make sense of what happened. Then it clicked for me. He told me once in passing that as a child a doctor told his mom he has ADHD. She ignored it. She was very neglectful and abusive as a parent.

I'm wondering if I'm insane here. Yesterday I took my kids and we were gone for four hours. My adhd spouse is working on tiling a shower right now. He had two rows left (6 tiles) to finish the back wall. In those four hours me and my kids went to place a floral grave saddle at my dad's grave, went to two different craft stores, three home goods stores, got dinner at a drive-in (took a half hour to get our food) and went to a separate restaurant to pick up ice cream for dessert.

I really just want to know to not take it personally when he's distracted, even during sex. Claims to be having the best sex of his life with me, but then he is staring at the lyrics on the tv screen.  And this is not the first time.  And he admitted doing it. How is this not supposed to just break my heart?

I (non-ADHD) went on a 2-week vacation with my ADHD partner. It was highly stressful at times, because he was rushing through the packing and planning, and scheduling multiple stops in a day without considering rest time, time to eat, time to just not do anything at all and relax. 

Hi everyone- 

my original post is here:

/content/desperate-divorce#comment-58424

My Ex partner has ADHD & RSD.  We dated for over a year and a half and faced many of the challenges that ADHD can present in a relationship.  I at first would be frustrated but over time and throughout our challenges would try and learn as much as I could.  I've read a few books, joined a couple of forums, and really just tried to educate myself.  I am someone who commits wholeheartedly and has learned how to be extremely patient and supportive.  Recently my ex-partner attended an event that I had and it was an opportunity for her to meet a few of my friends and family.  She had a stres

I think I read somewhere that it is common for kids and adults who have been untreated to feel a lot of guilt in the beginning of medication treatment. Guilt for behaviours and actions done before treatment because of a lack of ability to see consequenses and perspectivetaking etc. Is this common?