It seems that therapy, medication, and books have done little to give me a spouse that treats me with respect and kindness. After tens of thousands of dollars of intervention and years of effort I just have nothing left. How can anyone be happy living with a person who gobbles up all of the resources and sucks the air out of a room.
I am a Non ADHD Spouse married now to my ADHD husband for almost 3 years together 4. I am looking for help and advice. I read this blog every morning for help and support. My search engine on my phone is daily "ADHD Husband doesnt care, husband isnt helping, husband is mean etc. " I have read Melissa's book, in counseling myself and ADHD Husband is on month 3 of meds. Divorce for me is not an option unless of course there is abuse etc. This is marriage number 3 for both of us. We have known eachother since 4th grade and have grown up in the same circles, crowds etc.
,, Thanks for letting me vent and share.
While I was in the shower, my wife and teenager got into an argument because the teen was not cleaning up a huge mess that had accumulated under the couch. Our (nonbinary) teen started freaking out and yelling.
Does anyone else struggle to get their ADHD partner to celebrate them?
Mine has an aversion to gifts or doing anything nice for me. It's starting to ware on me after being together for so long (18 years of this!) I've really tried to adapt to his ways - but why can't he adapt to mine? I come from a family that celebrates birthdays - people have given me surprise parties in the past - I've given him parties even - I love to give gifts - to celebrate people!
On Sunday, we spent the morning visiting a Holocaust museum (an event organized by the synagogue.) When that was over, my wife leaves to see a musical that one of her friends is in. While she was gone, I
I've been married to a man with ADD for almost 40 years. You'd think by now we'd have got it together, but it never ends. I love him, he loves me. Years ago I thought that love, empathy and awareness coupled with some outside help would conquer all but, of course, I was wrong. For one thing, there's been no outside help. He won't do it.
How do you heal the pain and stop the intrusive thoughts... I have the understanding of what led to the affair, forgiveness and relationship repaired, but I still can't get rid of the pain and the thoughts... I just want to get rid of the pain and stop thinking about it.
Hi People--new to forum! I am looking to form an accountability group to go through an ADHD executive function workbook. Specifically--I'd love to work with women in the Baltimore area. Anyone up for it? Or does anyone know of an ADHD women support group in Baltimore that I can get hooked up with?
thanks!
Sarah
Lately, I'm beginning to see an abject "loser" mentality in my ADHD partner. As if all that life is, is a series of losses. And every mistake, failure, mishap in the past, is dictating his future. He is convinced he is doomed 60-70% of the days I've been with him. And I am so. exhausted. of his mentality. Where everything apparently sucks, is disappointing, is underwhelming and not good enough. It makes me feel like nothing, nothing at all, will make him happy, joyful, positive or hopeful. And if it does, it will last 30 seconds. And then disappear into thin air.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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