Helping outsiders understand what non-ADHD spouses experience

Hi! I'm new to this site. My husband has been recently diagnosed with ADHD. We have been married for 10 years and have one child. Since my husband is in the early stages of treatment, his symptoms are currently under treated and we are in the throes of dysfunction. We love each other and are committed to doing the best we can to make our life happier. We are both in therapy individually as well. I was wondering if anyone had any tips/ideas on how to help those outside the relationship understand or at least accept boundaries I set for myself in order to protect and conserve some of my energy. It seems that when I say no to taking on another project most people can't understand why. They also seem to not understand why I am so exhausted/depleted since I 'just' stay at home and don't work outside the home. I know that people should just respect my decisions and not question my reasons, however the people I'm referring to are my few close friends and his family. I am very much experiencing the 'he's a wonderful guy' and the 'I'm just a nag whose no fun'. I am trying not to nag and change my attitude, but it's not going to happen overnight. I have no one to vent my frustration to and every time I do, I hear how it's not that bad and I should suck it up or they end up putting the blame on me which I'm already getting at home. My husband is a great guy and he's very much wanting to improve our relationship do I am thankful for that, it's just hard when other people don't understand.