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by: wantobfree -
The stories I am reading from all of you are so similar to what I have experienced with my husband of almost 20 years. I can’t say that I have been happy with him, I am staying until my youngest goes to college and I am financially independent. I need to find a decent pay job after being forced to l leave my old one due to a TBI. That head trauma made me comprehend who my husband really is. I have been slowly crowing out of my disability and I am desperate to get out and build my life again. It has...>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: donotuserealname23 -
I wish there was a like button feature.>>> on Blog post - "Reward Focused Brain" Doesn't Accurately Describe the ADHD Experience
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by: donotuserealname23 -
Thank you for the explanation. Causation is not a topic to play around with and the risk mitigation in pregnancy makes perfect sense to any reasonable person.>>> on Blog post - Tylenol, Autism, oh my!
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m so sorry for your loss.>>> on Forum topic - When big time grief strikes
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by: Swedish coast -
It’s human to want safety. It’s one of our most basic needs. Without it, love, respect, intimacy are not achievable. What your partner’s mood swings and shifting confidence does, is to gradually erode your safety. I think your partner needs to quickly become aware of the need for him to be stabilized by treatment. He needs to provide safety to you.>>> on Forum topic - What is real?
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by: liz1999 -
You are not alone with that. I have been with mine for almost 2 years now married..and his impulsivity has really done some damage in the past…everything is always just my fault ..he is on a waiting list for a diagnosis but its been exhausting and my own trauma on top of it …there have been moments where it has been hell surely for both of us but when it comes to talking its all on me, its my fault..my emotions are too much for him most of the time and he deflects all the time and then he becomes...>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: Swedish coast -
My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry your relationship has taken this turn and its making you physically ill. Do you have a safe place to stay and recuperate?>>> on Forum topic - Breaking Up
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by: Help Please -
Hi All, I SO appreciate these helpful and validating responses. Sorry for the delay in circling back. I did issue an ultimatum regarding substance use (i.e., stop during pregnancy and early postpartum) and he chose to stop using versus moving out and has done so in the past 3 weeks. He also feels a lot of regret about 'dragging his feet' regarding getting a new job and has been very motivated with applications/interviews/etc. recently. I am in my own ongoing individual therapy...>>> on Forum topic - Why do things get the worst when I need support the most?
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by: honestly -
sorry; by ‘pattern’ I was meaning that his current mode of behaviour which mapped onto my exe’s very closely, not his behaviour over the years.>>> on Forum topic - Why do things get the worst when I need support the most?
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by: J -
Since I just went through it.>>> on Forum topic - Why have I gone from her hero to her villain?
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by: J -
But she said they were communicating well before, he was pulling his weight and they had one child ?? I guess that it. These patterns don't alway show themselves until a predictable set of circumstances arise.>>> on Forum topic - Why do things get the worst when I need support the most?
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m sorry Off the Roller, I probably am such a pain. But to answer your question: when a train crashes in slow motion, I believe there’s very little a person can do except use the slowness of destruction by getting out of there.>>> on Forum topic - Trainwrecks
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by: Ninaclark -
Where is this please?>>> on Blog post - 6 Reasons Your ADHD Partner May Not Lead…and What To Do About It
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by: Swedish coast -
In our sweet time, perhaps we’ll date! I’m glad you’re doing well.>>> on Forum topic - How to stop people pleasing
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by: 1Melody1 -
Whoops sorry, I do go out, but my family means "go out and have fun" with men. lol I do weekly things with a bunch of other women, meet friends for coffee and dinner, take walks multiple times per week, etc. I quite enjoy it all and I'm not sure I need to be in a relationship again. I'm glad we're having this conversation because it is making me think more about it than I have in a while and evaluate again if it's something I want to pursue anytime soon. I'm so glad you're getting out,...>>> on Forum topic - How to stop people pleasing
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by: Swedish coast -
How tiresome with a family of default couplehood belief. Going out is something I’ve recently started doing. Not to night clubs or anything. I take myself out to tiny adventures like going to museums alone and having lunch out. It’s not even enjoyable all the time and sometimes I’m sad. But it’s practice. I walk myself like a small dog on a leash, tending to my own needs and impulses. It’s unfamiliar (having focused on the family’s needs). I try things out like I’ve never done them before...>>> on Forum topic - How to stop people pleasing
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by: Swedish coast -
This is exactly it, every word you wrote is true here as well. The neurodivergent family of origin is another insecurity of mine. I was taught by now deceased family members to have some boundaries, though they approved of my ex in the early days. But no adults in my present family have standards for relations I can comprehend. They all frighten me. Noone understood my predicament in the marriage or offered healthy advice. They’re aloof after divorce. I certainly can’t trust any of them to help...>>> on Forum topic - How to stop people pleasing
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by: 1Melody1 -
I hear you. My family doesn't understand either. I think it's hard for people who don't see the impact of the ADHD dysfunction on daily life to comprehend what we went through. My family seems very eager for me to date, but they see coupledom as the default/only option. I know a lot of them are wondering why I don't just go find someone as if that's the only key to happiness. I'm actually getting really tired of people suggesting I "just have to find another man" or that I should "go out and have fun...>>> on Forum topic - How to stop people pleasing
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by: 1Melody1 -
I really feel this, Swedish. It has been years for me and I'm not sure I can date. There are so many reasons, likely the first of them being that I still feel depleted by the marriage... and I don't feel like I've refilled myself enough to have energy to invest in another person. I'm not sure I'll ever have it in me again. It's also sad to me that I see relationships as depleting now. I'm afraid of dating at my age. Afraid I'll never find a(nother) deep love at this age - despite it all, I did...>>> on Forum topic - How to stop people pleasing
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by: Swedish coast -
C, I’m with you. Reluctantly, I realize at some point one has to date if one can’t get used to living alone. Dating is the ultimate horror at this point. I can’t stand the thought of rejection. Neither to invest my soul into a relationship and again end up emotionally and physically shipwrecked. C, I think you can afford to be a little boastful. A sense of self-worth is a minimum floating device in the shark-infested waters of modern dating, so I’ve been told. Perhaps even a bit of pride can...>>> on Forum topic - How to stop people pleasing
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