Repeated research studies suggest that gratitude can lead us to healthier lives and actually help 'rewire' our brains for greater happiness. But struggling couples may not be feeling very grateful. Here are some tips about how to find gratitude in your own life and what it can do for your relationship.
Many non-ADHD partners want to connect at night with a meaningful "goodnight, honey," a kiss and hug or with some sexual intimacy. Yet disappointment follows when their partner is too distracted or too tired to shine the spotlight of their attention in the non-ADHD partner's direction. (Conversely, I sometimes hear complaints from ADHD partners who say that the demands of their non-ADHD partner to come to bed at a certain time are obnoxious...but that's for a different post.) What to do?
Too many couples find that Valentine’s Day is a yearly reminder of what they don’t have – the “picture perfect” marriage with both partners arriving home with red roses, a bottle of wine and sex on their minds. Like in the magazines, right?! Except that’s not how it happens for many couples, particularly if you are struggling in your relationship. So here are four tips for surviving what may be the worst Hallmark Card holiday of them all!
On the one hand, today (Dec 31) will unfold much like tomorrow (Jan 1) - so what's the big deal about New Year's?! On the other hand, why not use the holiday as a reminder to reflect a moment about who we are and where we are going for the next 12 months? In that spirit, I hope you'll take a moment to set just a few resolutions in motion. Here are mine for 2013:
Want to know what success looks like when you've pretty much lost hope and then turn things around? Here is a letter that came in to me this week that describes it so well that I thought I would share it. Of particular interest, I think, is the connection between the two partners as they progress - they create an upward spiral of positively reinforcing behavior that really helps them succeed.
A writer in this forum just posted about how important it is to remember the good in our partners. I re-post her thoughts here as well as add my own. I encourage you all to stop and take a moment to post something in this thread that is good about your partner - ADHD or not. Okay, so here is the post that moved me:
I know this is a blog about marriage...but many of you have kids with ADHD and are looking for good sources of information about parenting and ADHD, too. Dr. Ned Hallowell recently gave a radio interview on this topic. The parenting introduction (by the interviewer) is good, too - and quick to read. You can find both at this link. Enjoy!