Joy in Marriages with ADHD

I gave a one hour webinar for not too long ago on the topic of "Reigniting Romance in ADHD Relationships" and they have been kind enough to let me link to the recording so you can see it.  It's an hour long and one of a whole library of webinars that they offer.  If you don't have time to watch, consider putting a reminder into your cell phone (or two, or three!) that will remind you to do something special for your partner on Feb. 14.

If your marriage is struggling - ADHD research suggests 58% of marriages with at least one ADHD spouse are clinically dysfunctional - there is hope. ADDA has highlighted six steps from the book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage, on how to rebuild your partnership dynamic. To read the post, please go here.

I often say that though people are quick to label those with ADHD as “lazy” because they often have trouble following up on commitments, my experience is that almost everyone with whom I come into contact with ADHD is a VERY hard worker.  Some of that work (organizing the disorganized mind, for example) goes on inside, and so is hidden from view most of the time.  Diligence and a willingness to try, yet again, are traits that some non-ADHD spouses say they love about their ADHD partners:

When you have ADHD in your relationship it’s a great thing to be able to LAUGH!  And exactly that’s what a number of non-ADHD spouses say they love about their ADHD partner.  Here are some examples:

As part of ADHD Awareness Week I’m writing a daily series about what partners say they love about their spouse with ADHD.  These are collected from participants in my current couples class, from those at this site, and from my own experience.  I hope you’ll join the conversation, or at least spend some time this week showing appreciation for the things you enjoy.  (We spend too much time thinking about the things we don’t enjoy!)  So, here’s “love letter” #1…

A woman who took one of my couples courses wrote to me to give me an update on how well she and her husband are doing.  Since I often have requests from readers at the site to hear about the positive changes couples can make, I thought I would share some of her words.  Of particular interest to you all, I think, will be what she writes about her children - if there were ever a reason to be inspired to take chances on change, this is it!

Anna Quindlen, at this year's Grinnell College graduation ceremony, said "This is a moment to consider what 'doing better' really means."  She was referring to how we think about personal success, but I think the quote is just as relevant to relationship success. I urge you all to think about what ‘doing better’ really means within the context of your relationship.  Each person will have their own take on this question, but I thought I would share my own ideas.

It's important to find time for building stronger connections with your partner, but even with good intentions this is just plain hard to do!  When we are busy we often just respond to what's hot.  It's stressful to feel as if “urgency” is the criteria that runs your life.  And, quite frankly, “urgent” says little about value to you, just timeliness.  The result is that we often leave the less urgent, but more valuable marriage and family parts of our lives behind.  Here are seven very specific tips for reclaiming your marriage and family time in the face of this pressure.

There are lots of extra challenges in many households this time of year – but there is opportunity for growth and love, too.  Here’s my idea to make this year’s holiday season happier and easier – seek and celebrate the gifts you already have.

vThis site spends a lot of time addressing and airing problems - I thought it was time to write a light hearted post about the successes that couples who have come here have experienced.  These are all real stories taken from my clients of the past few months.  Enjoy!