Welcome to the viewers from the Dr Phil Show, as well as other newcomers to this site. There is a lot here, so we suggest you start with the blog posts. Some of the "favorites" are under "Melissa's Favorite Posts" in the top right corner, or you can explore by area of concern in the "categories" area. The site also has a forum where people with concerns share them. Many find it reassuring that others share their issues but please understand that the forum is biased by the fact that those who have found this (unadvertised) site often seek it out because their marriage is in deep trouble. Not all ADHD marriages are in trouble!
ADHD affects marriages in unexpected ways, with big issues often developing around the misinterpretation of ADHD symptoms, particularly if the ADHD has gone undiagnosed for many years. The object of this site, and of the book that I am writing, is to help people identify common patterns and misinterpretations that are the result of ADHD. Once you can identify these things, you can start to better understand how to combat them.
It's critical that the person with the ADHD understand how the ADHD impacts his or her relationship partner, so that he or she can find the impetus to start to affect positive change around symptoms. However, it is also critical that the non-ADD spouse understand his or her role, as well. It is too easy to place blame on just ADHD symptoms or the ADHD spouse, when in fact both partners are almost always complicit (often in unexpected ways).
We hope that you find this site a useful resource for thinking through some of your own issues and creating positive change in your life. We also urge you to become an active member of this community. We ask only that you be respectful of all of the varied viewpoints represented.
Two final thoughts. I am writing a book about how ADHD affects marriages. A (very) few quotes from this site will likely be included in this book as representative of specific issues. These will be anonymous, with no way to trace them to a specific person. In addition, please understand that this site should not replace medical attention or counselling.