Recent forum posts (all topics)

I would love some guidance on this topic.  I totally get that my husband has poor working memory and short term memory.  Here is my dilemma...How do you do LIFE with someone who has poor memory when the consequences of that poor memory can effect you in some big ways.  I try not to involve my husband in things that need to be done that if he forgets would impact me too much.  Not only is that very challenging when you are supposed to share life with someone but it also puts a lot more stress and responsibility on me.  That aside, sometimes he does things completely out of my control and it

My younger daughter is arriving this evening from out of state.  Here is something that makes me feel very happy and grateful:  My sister is hosting her overnight so that I don't have to make the three-hour round trip to and from the airport in the dark.  Here is what makes me sad about the situation:  My ex-husband not only spends less time with our daughters than I do but also spends less time with them than do my sister (their aunt), my brothers (their uncles), and my sister's ex-husband.  In what universe is this kind of parent-child relationship okay?  I know, that was a rhetorical que

Hi,  my husband and I have been married 27 years.  We have been in marriage counseling 5 times in those years with no real improvements.  He was finally diagnosed with ADD a few years ago but also shows signs of language issues and Central Auditory Processing Disorder.  Communication and conversation are very difficult and I have gotten to the point where unless we are talking about something he is interested or involved in, I avoid a lot of conversation with him.  There is a lot of misunderstanding, misinterpreting, forgetting, repeating, arguing and frustration.  I find it is much easier

I feel that I have become a very negative person as the result of living with my ADD husband. Does anyone else struggle with this? I do not want to be this way and not sure how to turn things around as far ad my mental state. 

A couple weeks ago, our couples therapist asked what would make me feel more loved.  I said consideration, with the example that I should not have had to do all of the leaf raking with my bad shoulders.  My wife responded that she would but I needed to remind her. I pointed out that she had offered to help, then said she would help after the she did something in the kitchen, then said that she thought (finally) taking down the Halloween decorations was all the help I needed, and did not rake any leaves.  I reminded her several times.

My ADHD husband and I have begun to see therapist who specializes in ADHD adults.  Prior to our first session, she had us each fill out one of the evaluation forms/tools that "test" for ADHD, my husbanding answering for himself and I answering from the perspective of a spouse.  My answers indicated my husband has ADHD; my husband's answers revealed no definite sign of ADHD.  The therapist told us during our first session that she could not make a definite diagnosis because the results did not jive.  She suggested that if we wanted to work on our relationship, she would be happy to do so wit

Buy (easy) and set up (very hard!) the Christmas tree.  How about you?

Did you have emotional resolution or closure before you divorced or after?  Did you only grieve for the relationship and the loss of hope?  Or did you grieve the loss who the specific person you lost?  What else were your losses?

We are not divorcing in the foreseeable future but the topic has come up over the course of our marriage, and it has been more seriously considered at various times. 

So it's been a LOT of togetherness the past few weeks and I am about at the end of my tether.  DHs 50th birthday was November 17th and all four of us went downtown (Chicago) overnight-we had a super fancy dinner out then stayed at a fancy hotel overnight then had brunch the next morning and came home.  It was fine but taxing.  It made me sad that we have no couple friends that I would even have invited to join us and that DH has no friends period that would have made for a party or something.  He has two ways of being-sarcastic or sullen.  That's pretty much it.

My ADHD husband and I have been in counseling together for several months now, and are working to get our marriage into a better place. We have already seen real progress, though we do have a long way to go. (At what point does it start to get easier.. six months? a year?)

We are both dealing with a lot of hurt and anger, and I am trying to take responsibility for my part in our issues, but I am starting to feel like I'm being unfairly villainized in his memory of our life together all these years.