Recent forum posts (all topics)

No investment, No commitment..= No marriage.....

Forum: 

Facing the truth can be a very hard thing at times...Especially in our marriages...90% of our marriage issues (conflict) really has nothing to do w/ add/adhd...Not now anyway that I've learned more about it....But It has everything to do with commitment....My wife has never taken on the responsibilities of a wife...She is a victim about most every thing that relates to her role as a wife....I've spent the better part of 10 years asking her if she is ever going to invest in our marriage...It is a hard thing to share in a loving martial relationship like I had for 30 years (1st marriage)...Th

Truthfulness with adult children about ADD

My DH has ADD along with Bipolar and possibly OCD. He is not medicated. I have one adult son diagnosed OCD and ADD. Another son diagnosed ADD. Non of this is ever talked about. My adult children watch the interactions between my husband and I and see it as fighting. Only my daughter know my husbands diagnosis. My sons are not really approachable on this topic. They do not realize what causes the chaos. What do you tell your family members about your life as far as mental health issues? How do you  or hurt your children with all of this?

making plans

I get told often that I am too demanding about making plans.  I want plans made and he wants to wing it....

.I get told that either I haven't given him enough time to think about whatever I want to talk about or that he feels trapped because he's going to lose and not get his way. Or any number of things

Last night I sat down and told him that it would be nice if we could talk about our plans for the next two years.  We are getting to the time in our lives where retirement is on the horizon.

Off the Leash

Several weeks ago, my DH and I had a major altercation.  He took off and headed for the hills on a day I had something planned and needed his help.  I told him it started at five and expected him to understand that he should be  home earlier to pick up the house and get a few snacks since I was working all day.  When I tried to call him, he refused to answer the phone.  I childishly got our adult daughter involved and called her and told her to "tell your father to please answer the phone".  He picked up for her, so she passed on the message, but he still wouldn't call me.  Just texted sayi

War and Peace

For most of my marriage I gave sex to my H as a duty, as a commandment, as a prayer, as a hope in the future that if I gave what he needed and wanted, that eventually our family would complete the vision I had about marriage.  That H would come to appreciate and honor our marriage in love.

ADHD partner going in deep moods with me most weekends

I am seriously considering how to cope, how to be stronger, but angry that his moodiness most weekends, lately, because I am not listening, because he wants to talk about something with a lot of detail in it and wants me to get it properly and this is usually when we are out and about, the supermarket car park as we are walking towards the shop doors, or when my dog was being extremely restless in a pub, going near the fire, walking off, or about to jump up on the pub's sofa, I get accused of not wanting to listen to him.  This also is a cheek because he doesn't actively listen to me or ask

emotional availability and unavailability

I'm thinking about this topic today more than usual because this would have been my 33rd wedding anniversary, if the marriage had not ended (by divorce, two years ago).  My ex has, it seemed, always showed more interest in communicating and sharing with and supporting women who aren't me.  You don't know me and you don't know him, so you can't tell me why this is, but I'm wondering what others whose spouses or partners have ADHD have experienced in this realm.  I don't necessarily think this is an ADHD thing.  My ex has lots of other issues that could explain this, including (maybe) that he

Why should I be uncomfortable?

Recently, our teenage son said he knew my wife hid his portable game system in her locked drawer and he could not get to it.  Last night, she opened the drawer (she says it was locked) and found it missing.  This is the same drawer where she keeps sex toys.  We have file cabinets with locks in our bedroom precisely because both our son and our daughter routinely go into our room without permission and look through our dressers and under the bed.  I keep medications in the locked drawer next to my side of the bed.

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