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Hi everyone. My husband has ADHD and it has taken a huge toll on our relationship, due to infidelity and aggression on top of all the other stuff. We have a baby girl who is crawling and I am terrified of leaving her in his care. I have found ADHD medication lying around on the carpet because he doesn't store them properly. He empties the contents of his pockets (nails, screws) in random locations without thinking about it. She has been hurt a number of times under his care because of him being forgetful and distracted. He tries to drink hot coffee while giving her a bath.

I'm the non ADHD spouse.   We bought the ADHD Effect on Marriage book and we were both reading it.  It was very emotional for my spouse.  We both were amazed at how it seemed someone was watching us live our lives and writing a book about it!  I went on to read The Dance of Anger and found it very insightful.  My dilemna is that my spouse has not finished reading the first book and shows no signs of doing so.   Is there a way for me to ask him about it,  remind him or otherwise suggest he get back to it without him feeling threatened or judged?

Hello Community,

My husband and I have been reading a book, Created for Connection, by Dr. Sue Johnson, that is unlike the shelves of others we have read before. Dr. Johnson leads with the attachment between a child and parent, and relates the depth of this attachment (not the child/parent roles, of course), or Connection, to that which a person seeks in their spouse.

I had taken the time to make many special foods you like for the 4th of July weekend - they were sitting in the fridge just needing to be cooked.  At 6:30p I told you I was going to go work in the garden, you did not say a word as you were focused on watching tv and on your ipad.  At 7:30pm, I went into the house just to tell you to come outside it was nice out, you said you would be out shortly.  I continued to work outside and figured you decided to stay inside as I had not seen you.

What is the most difficult part (or what seems to inflict the most long term negative impact on your mindset and emotions) of your lives, when it comes to the effects on you, in seeking to live in a peaceful way w/ your spouse?? 

For me it's (hands down) the emotional and psychological effects I experience on my person, from her denial...Denial always produces the same attributes in a mind...No ownership of actions, self-justification and blame....

Let me start off by saying that my niece is OKAY, our dog didn't actually bite her, he jumped on her and scratched her. He is now at a training facility for a couple of weeks and my niece is learning how to interact with dogs safely. we're glad nothing worse happened...

I was diagnosed with ADHD just after my 41st birthday, and I am close to turning 44. At first, the diagnosis and treatment brought relief and understanding to a lifetime of struggling, anger, and lost relationships. I read every book about ADHD that I could, applied behavioral and medicinal treatment (and still do), drastically improved my diet, and worked with an ADHD coach (who said, "Stop reading books about ADHD.").

It's been a long and difficult road; this marriage relationship of ours.  But like all good things...GOOD THING??...Yes,  (Proverbs 18:22..A man who finds a wife, finds a good thing), like I was saying, before I was interrupted :) lol... like all good things, it also has it's trials...We humans just tend to reflect the images in front of us...Especially those that are there constantly...It's human weakness...No man's an Island....

Having only recently read "The ADHD Effect on Marriage" I am currently working through the anger and resentment that has built up over 20 years and 17 years of diagnosed and untreated ADHD.  The book has helped me understand my responses to ADHD symptoms and the significant impact they've had on our relationship, but there is one concept I am struggling with...the idea that "I respect my spouse's inherent right to make his or her own decisions and live by the consequences, whether I like what what he or she is doing."   My wife already lives with many of the consequences of her actions that