We've been together for 23 years. For 18 years, I've had severe ME and am housebound, a wheelchair user, prone to exhaustion, limited in what I can do.
We lived with my parents for 13 years until we could afford to move out. I was always so grateful he stuck with me when I became ill. We waited a long time to get a home of our own.
Yesterday I got irritated with my husband.
Before I forget...I wanted to recount as I see it...a successful interaction with my wife and what I have come to understand better? The problems we run into so many times...is within my wife's ability to say what she means or even say...what she is thinking in way that makes any sense to me? There is a bit of logic or a piece to this puzzle always missing and this is where I walk head long into trouble because I just can't see it? There is a reason why....however, I can't see it with my wife in that...she doesn't tell me that piece that is missing and its the piece that is necessary..fo
So, I just have to point out I have Aspergers syndrome, and my fiancé has a combination of ADHD and Aspergers. We've been together for 4 years. And I apologize if this post gets EXTREMELY long, but I really feel like I need help here.
Hi all,
I have been married 26 years. My H has not been to a therapist all our marriage. His mother and brothers all have bipolar or an issue. He claims to have ADHD, I feel he is bipolar and definitely has Narcissistic traaits. He has temper, loses jobs, blames the world, etc. everyone knows the story. He won't go get help, he is prideful. EVERYONE sees an issue, those that hate him and those that love him. He is a charmer of women and has groupies since he is a DJ and loves to dance, etc.
I can't believe anything that comes out of H's mouth anymore. And I'm not talking life-altering things, I'm simply talking about him coming up with these great ideas to do something-him, all on his own without a hint from me- to go have fun, and then when the time comes to do them, he has no desire to follow through. I laid in bed and cried last night because I am so tired of these empty promises and knowing when he gets all excited about doing something that I shouldn't get excited because it most likely won’t happen.
I don't know which behaviors to attribute to ADHD and which are "just the way he is". I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, In the spring, he lied to me about smoking pot, and apologized for not being honest with me. I explained that lying hurt me, that I felt as if I weren't worthy of the truth.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. The signs were there. I know when something is off between us. I came over to his place, and there was an apology card/note, along with some flowers.
I found an old post by Melissa Orlov where she said:
""There is not one single diagnostic statement that suggests that anger is one of the symptoms of ADHD. Not one. He needs to go back to his doctor immediately and work this out. Probably some therapy would help as part of that treatment.""
I agree.
We often see posts from people stating that their partners have ADHD and the people provide stories that include lots of anger.
I'm quite new to trying to find answers and help...I. The ADHD spouse, and my wife is a sufferer of Bipolar I. She sees things so clearly, and has no hesitation or indecision
I, however, suffer incessantly from self doubt, paralysis during crisis, and an inability to prioritize. The difference in our personalities is stark, and infuriating, to her.
Turn your knowledge into actionable steps to improve your relationship. join our Intent-to-Action Membership Program.
The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
"Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."
