Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi. I have been married to a man with ADHD for 23 years. Maybe a combination of kids starting to fly the nest, me trying to figure out who I am now, and who knows what else, but I am finding myself beyond exhausted and burnt out in dealing with my husband. In the last couple of months our marriage has literally tanked. He has no idea why I am upset, and he rants constantly about things he is upset about and has now issued an 'ultimatum'. I feel like my head is going to explode.

Throughout our relationship, my husband has periodically fallen into periods of extreme personal dysfunction (during which he becomes withdrawn, appears to be growing depressed and behaves increasingly unkindly to me) which culminate in him abandoning his family.

It always looks the same — first, he gets really optimistic about his projects (perhaps a bit grandiose and manic) and things feel very exciting and happy for both of us. He becomes more social, and more romantic and loving. I start to feel like maybe our marriage is finally getting on track.

I've come here by way of Orlov's first ADHD Marriage book following my wife of 10+ years diagnosis of ADHD last year. The book was tremendously helpful in my ability to both name my feelings and develop empathy for my spouse. Her therapist was unsurprised to hear of her diagnosis and, at that time, also suggested that she may be mildly autistic.

I've come here by way of Orlov's first ADHD Marriage book following my wife of 10+ years diagnosis of ADHD last year. The book was tremendously helpful in my ability to both name my feelings and develop empathy for my spouse. Her therapist was unsurprised to hear of her diagnosis and, at that time, also suggested that she may be mildly autistic.

Hi all,

Hello—longtime reader, first-time poster.

Apologies if this has been discussed before—I'm open to any helpful links. I also welcome other perspectives to potentially illuminate blind spots. I am aware we come from a place of privilege with having the luxury of dual-income.

Dear all,

I am new to this forum as I am looking for some help. I am married and my wife has ADHD and our 2 daughters (6 and 9) also have ADHD. I am trying to manage my daughters but it is all starting to be a bit overwhelming.

Especially with my wife, who is more and more depressed and she blames me for everything that is wrong in her life, for everything that has ever gone wrong, etc. She sometimes has anger outbursts and starts insulting me, using every example of things I shared with her and seems to want to hurt me as much as possible.

Sorry, everyone. I wish I could report more happiness 1,5 years after ADD divorce, but it’s still hard.

How does one rebuild social life after having lost confidence? 15+ years of ADD-associated shame and avoidance, and hundreds of attempts at connection with people who seemed slightly uncomfortable, probably smelling misery, have eroded me. There are very few invitations. How do you find common ground with others when your life has been thwarted by an ADD partner?

I am the ADHD partner. I have been with my partner for 10 years. With increasing frequency, it feels as though that I become distracted when she's speaking, or she feels I am not paying attention to her. This recently reached a head last week, where she feels that yet again I chose to not pay attention to her. She has responded with anger, as I've tried to apologize. She even said to me that she doesn't think I'm sorry, but she will make me feel sorry. How do I weather this?

I was browsing a board for people with ADHD and came across a post where an ADHD mother was describing an interaction with her 6-year-old son. She described herself as a busy working single mom. There'd been a lot going on and she decided to have "a chill day." Neither of them got dressed, she spent the day scrolling her phone and reading and he apparently played with his toys by himself.