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This post is aimed at people in long term ADHD marriages. People who likely have children together, who feel that their spouse is an incredibly beautiful person but for the ADHD behaviors, and people who love their ADHD spouse and absolutely hate the fights.

There's a lot of great information on ADHD online but nothing I ever read told me the absolute truth. I only learned the real truth when my ADHD wife of ten years told me that she wanted to separate from me over another of many fights over money. We have two amazing boys together, one of whom also has ADHD.

I moved this comment I made previously as to my own feelings of why my wife does what she does.  I could not wrap my head around her behavior and the motivation that I was seeing as quite obvious to me....as self sabotaging both herself....Me......and us together at the same time.

I wasn't sure whether to put this in communication or Hope and Progress but as I see......this is a huge step forward and making progress but it did come through communicating some things to wife....including the possibility of her having ADHD?  She actually took the initiative to take some on line tests that put her in the "possible" category which was no surprise to me. However....that;'s not what this break through is all about (but related....emotional lability?  Thinking it is?  In part )

Is it just me who sometimes really cannot be bothered to deal with my partners out of control symptons? 

I know his meds are not working, I know he's not working on anything much, he's unfocused, forgetful, vague, lying over stupid things, obsessed with a game on his phone, forgetting plans we have made, speaking to me like crap, off on another planet....

My husband won't address his ADHD issues. He used to say he didn't have ADHD and/or it simply didn't exist and was a madeup diagnosis. He's come around a pretty good amount I guess. This past year after losing something the umpteenth time he asked me "so what would I have to do to get ADHD meds?" Nonetheless I feel that he thinks that acknowledging and treating this problem is admitting that he's the "problem" in our marriage or something.

My H - who went off and started doing some amazing things for 2 weeks, has started loosing steam I believe.  Like other times - this seems to be starting his loss of motivation etc.  I hope I am wrong, but I doubt it.

Are you offended by being a Husband or Wife?

We are all different on this forum, but, in the same breathe I can say we all have many similarities.

What is your concept of marriage?

What or Who do you pattern you life after as a husband or wife?

Who for you is the authority on what a marriage is suppose to look like?

Confused, angry, hopeless.....help!

My husband is a total addict to video games.  He will of course deny it, but i know it's true and I am sure he knows it deep down inside too.  At one point, he played World of Warcraft.  It totally consumed his life.  He walked away from it a few times, once even telling me he could finally see how toxic it was to his life.  He put that game in front of everyone including his daughter.  He finally stopped playing a few years ago, moving on to another game called Star Wars the Old Republic.    He lost control with that one too.

I'm new to this forum but I was hoping to get some help and support here, and so far it's been helpful reading other people's stories and how to improve your relationship.

Now I'd like to share my story to see if I can get some input and help since I feel very lonely in all of this and I don't know what to do.