Hi, I'm really hoping someone can shed some light on my current situation with an undiagnosed ADHD partner. We're only dating and have been seeing each other for just under a year. I don't have ADHD and had no experience of it before. It took me 6 months of utter confusion to work out that the man I've been seeing has ADHD. I felt like I was going mad.
There has been a lot of good discussions on the forum lately, with some very good research behind it...But, instead of looking at the effects of adhd on my marriage; I would like to pose this question. Do you and your spouse have different values?
Mostly, my ADHD hubby is a great guy. Wonderful father, helps around the house, smart, funny, loving.
I have one major complaint. In two parts.
My husband has been diagnosed with both ADHD and bipolar disorder. He takes medication for neither condition, but has finally agreed to see a doctor again--appointment at the end of August was soonest available for new patients.
OK I goofed. Typed it in wrong place....don't know how to fix it....never mind. I hate computers....I just wasted 2 hours of my life for a brief post...WTH!
OH MY GOODNESS!!! I think I fixed it! ......I still hate computers......
Please know I am vocalizing from my OWN experience here with this topic. I have read, studied, explored, sucked in, spit out, changed views, embraced new knowledge and held on to my own sanity(not by by own strength but HIS) through this "maze" of ADHD.
I am reading one of Melissa Orlov's books; I am brand new to this forum and would greatly appreciate any advice you might have for me. My husband (w/ ADHD) and I have been together for a year and a half, but we grew up together, so I've known him most of my life. I am completely in love with him and always have been. He is brilliant, loving, and my best friend. I am a teacher and the sole breadwinner.
I'm so tired of the nervousness that I feel before he walks through the door. I can tell in a second what kind of mood he's in. If he walks through the door and says "hi honey" then I know he had a good day. If the first thing he says is "what's up?" then I know he had a crappy day. He came home from work on Thursday and Friday in really good moods. So when he went in on Saturday I was expecting another good mood that night. Nope! Well on Friday evening a large branch broke off of our tree and mostly landed in the neighbor's yard.
H complains that I never speak up with things I want to do. Whenever I do, he ends up being in a bad mood because he never REALLY wanted to do them and makes me feel like he's just going to please me. Well, THAT'S why I never ask you to do anything! Even when he offers for us to do something and then 2 days later I ask if we are still doing it and he acts like he never wanted to do it in the first place but now he HAS to do it. I came up with going to a cover band for his birthday back in February.
If you are struggling as I have to find emotional, mental, and spiritual well being...You may be stuck in an illusion or a place of partial reality. This has followed me since my childhood and surfaces in most all of my relationships. It is reversible, but, it must be recognized, and dealt with.
I have question, Im 44 wife with add and have had PTSD for three yes, husband is 44 has ADHD, he refuses to negotiate or compromise about anything, he with holds money, we have lost everything, my car was repoed 6 weeks ago, he stated no intentions of plan for me vehicle to drive, we have nine ur old daughter, I caught him with porn on his phone, he still gets defensive if I hold him accountable, he does not ask my input about any decisions he makes and says that in order to repair our marriage , " he needs me to respect him and fu-- him frequently with enthusiasm ".
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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