Recent forum posts (all topics)

The need to be nurtured vs "I am not wired that way"

"Just accept it and move on", "do you", "lower your expectrations". What are these? All things I preach about to myself and others when you don't get what you signed on for from your spouse that has ADHD. Yesterday, the other girl showed up, the one that is still human and wants to be nurtured. I send him the usual text in the morning that has to do with something domestic, his reminder, "please deposit the weekly money into the account" since he won't do a recurring deposit. Never get a response. In fact, I never get any communication all day, no text, call, nothing.

Compatibility and commonality should out weigh emotion.

People spend a lots of money after the marriage has been consummated in an effort to quote "Get along". Why not do the work prior to getting to close to another person. Which, my guess, 

drops your ability to make an educated choice by any where from 20% to 95% depending on your make up.

Since people or all different it is probably better to have an idea of what type person you match up with the best, so you goal of a workable and satisfying marriage relationship want be hindered by so many differences...

Boyfriend wants to keep looking just in case

My boyfriend of 1 yr (we're in our 40s) wants to keep searching just in case he finds a woman who might give him instant "in love" feelings. He says he wants to make sure he doesn't make a mistake by not continuing to look in case our relationship isn't the one. We have a great relationship otherwise...good communication, deep talks, romance, loving eye contact, great physical intimacy, honesty, and a lot in common. He says he loves me and wants us to be together but still wants to keep looking "just in case"

Is it ADHD or Schizophrenia?

My husband was diagnosed fairly recently with ADHD, but upon speaking with a friend, we somehow arrived at an idea that perhaps schizophrenia was a more apt label. We looked at each other horrified and upon looking up symptoms of disorganized and simple schizophrenia, it seems to fit, especially with a peak age of 25 (he's 28 now, and things have gotten considerably worse over the years). However, a lot of the symptoms overlap. If there's been psychosis (hallucinations), I haven't been told about it, but my husband is very closed off from me and others.

His anger is getting the best of me.....

I'm new here, been reading for a long time but this is my first time posting. I'm in a similar situation as most of the other stories I've read. My husband of 18 years has been on medication for ADD for 5 years and has recently been diagnosed with Depression. Although he does take his medication he's been in denial about both and prefers to blame every problem in his life/our life together on me or take it out on me, it depends on the day.

Shouldn't your spouse be the one to make you feel good, not bad, about yourself?

Well mine seems to spend more time making me feel like an idiot who can't do a simple task! If I don't understand what he's asking me to do within 5 seconds he gets in a huff and gets angry at me. I couldn't understand what item he wanted me to unplug and then plug in another thing. Got all uppity with me. He wanted me to hold a board for him while he used an electric saw to cut through it. He complained that I was holding it at an angle rather than straight and then told me to move to the left and when I did he screamed "the LEFT" I said I did and he goes "No MY left".

Told him I needed to be held, he rolled over and went to sleep.

We have a dynamic I'm trying to shift. He gets anxious quickly over things, and I can't always predict what does it. Last night we had a debate over astrology, and then we had a snack in bed. Our conversation during the snack was pretty normal. He went to put the food back, and when he returned I had my legs in his way playfully. He moved them without comment. He will be playful with the children but rarely with me even though I've told him how much I appreciate the levity. We had a stressful evening the previous day so I was hoping to create some playfulness, and there was nothing.

Feeling like you have no voice

I had been with my SO just shy of 5years, and was diagnosed with ADHD last December (we officially ended it about 2 months ago, I am in the process of moving out)

I am usually a hopeful person,and for a long time I held hope it would work. In part it was for us, and in part it was becuase we have a son together. The last two weeks have pretty much depleted any hope I had for a reconciliation down the line. 

Love Is Really All That Matters

George Vaillant, Harvard psychiatrist, directed a study from 1972 to 2004. He concluded: Love Is Really All That Matters: "It may seem obvious, but that doesn’t make it any less true: Love is key to a happy and fulfilling life. There are two pillars of happiness. One is love, the other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away. A man could have a successful career, money and good physical health, but without supportive, loving relationships, he wouldn't be happy."

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