Recent forum posts (all topics)

Maybe this is another dumb question, and maybe can't be answered quickly, but here goes. At what point do those of us who are married to ADHD'ers (who are trying to get better) actually FEEL better about OURSELVES? (ESPECIALLY after so many YEARS of living with them UN-treated and UN-diagnosed and under-diagnosed and under-treated?)

I realized today that "poor decision making" is a character trait that has negatively affected me for all of my 61 years. (I am male and on ADHD medication).  Example of how this plays out with my wife of 37 years:  She likes plants, gardens, flowers, etc. in our yard. When I am: weed eating, using 'Round-Up,' or cutting the grass, I often get so close to the garden, plants, etc. that I kill or damage plants. My wife is at her 'wits end' because she feels like I do this on purpose to hurt her.

I met this women almost a year ago.  I seemed relieved finally could put up with my ADHD and non ADHD idiosyncrasies.  I was the typical ADHD attention seeker for the first couple of months.  The downside is that she was pretty clueless about some of the day to day events and had problems with interpreting what people were interacting with her.  Even her daughter took advantage of her.  I became her advisor of sorts, me and my impulsive behavior and disorganization.  I would analyze the interactions with her daughter and she followed them and their relationship seems to have improved.

I wanted to make some observations about this topic and compare them to myself and my past vs present.  I think two things happen when we have expectations of what "should be" and then it doesn't happen: 1) we are disappointed and 2) we (can) get angry if we never seem to get what we expect.  The question becomes...where do these expectations come from in the first place?  How did we arrive at these expectations and why do we have them?  Where does the concept of things that "should be" originate and is this even realistic in the first place.  No one can predict the future or know what anot

This is not a sarcastic question--is there some corollary between ADHD and physical ailments?  I know that ADHD people are more prone to accidents and injuries due to impulsive, risk taking behavior--that I can totally see not only in DH but in my kids, both of whom have ADHD too.  What I am talking about is physical complaints, ailments, aches and pains.  In the past 20 years I cannot tell you how many aches and pains DH complains about.  I am sure it is not a daily thing, but it seems like it.

I just made this account now after trying to find help & info online. So, here's my ''story''...

I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and it's long distance. Problem is.. I just don't understand what he expects from me regarding his anger issues caused by ADHD. He gets so angry over little things, so I try to explain my side but he just flips out, expecting me to take it. And I do, mostly.. I just don't know when I need to back off because he can't help it, or when he's actually being mean and I need to stand up for myself.

Hi all. This is only my second post here, but I have been following this site for almost a year now.

I am desperately looking for some help in finding a better wat to communicate with a partner who emotionally stonewalls. Absolutely refuses to acknowledge the validity of any viewpoint other than his. Wants to spend his time arguing the nuances of "logic" in a situation, rather than addressing the emotions involved. Tells me that whatever he did/said was "no hurtful" and therefore "he can't give me any acknowledgement for that".

I found this wonderful website while trying to do some research on ADD/ADHD, and have finally summoned the courage to post. I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. He has diagnosed ADD, and is on medication. Typically, he is one of the most caring, kind hearted people I've ever met. He dotes on me, is attentive and tries hard to keep his ADD under control. He tries his hardest to listen and pay attention to me. He is very loving and patient. In almost all areas, he's the best man I could have hoped for. However, despite all of his wonderful qualities, I am at the brink of ending things.

Hypersensitivity and an Overwhelming mind...It's not by design and or even desire that the inability to communicate calmly is such a reality for many of us. It's also not the lack of love or even respect and/ or commitment in many cases....It's the working of the mind...When the mind is so cluttered with diseased thinking. When everything is in such an emotional, and psychological state for the mind that it responds (it's thinking flows out in words) without thinking (no filter) it's ability to start and continue peacefully is severely hampered if not impossible.