Recent forum posts (all topics)

My husband is 43, almost 44 and recently learned that he T is low. Is this part of his issue and will medication react with Adderall?

Hello! I've lurked on this site for a while, but never posted before. My husband has adhd and of course it's an issue, but since we've had kids I can't ignore the "little things" anymore but he is acting like I'm just nagging him for no reason and that he's a victim to my hangups. We have kids now. Time is a huge issue and I need breaks. If we go anwhere or do annything I have to nag him the entire day before we are out the door or we won't make it. We have two toddlers. It takes 15 minutes to put on their shoes. He was always late, but now we end up missing events altogether.

As the NON ADD partner, I have been thinking a lot about people's maturity, naiveté, having fun vs responsibility...that kind of thing in general.  I had been thinking of myself as a responsible worrier and seeing dh as a child-like imp in our relationship.  But how have I been childlike?

It is time I look at that and help MYSELF GROW UP.  I will list the positive ways a mature person handles things and strive for being more mature MYSELF, in general and in all my relationships.

For the past few months, I have tried a new tactic.  As soon as H would start yelling, I would leave and not come back for a day or two.  

 

For awhile, H would just get angrier and more verbally threatening, this is what is called an Extinction Burst.  When the Non sets a Boundary, the mentally-unhealthy person will "kick it up a notch" hoping that you'll give up your boundary.  I held firm.  

 

Please don't be turned off by the fact that this blog post is written by a woman, has "divorce" in the blog title, and refers to "emotional abuse."  I think it presents very good suggestions for anyone in a difficult relationship, whether man or woman; person with ADHD or not; considering divorce or not.  

http://www.womansdivorce.com/emotionally-abusive-relationships.html

What do they say.....only a fool represent themselves in a court of law?  That's what happened this morning and this is my conclusion.  I'm a fool to engage my wife at all when she opens with....I want to talk.  Bullshit!  You want to debate in legal court with you being the prosecuting attorney and me being the defendant.  "Nice shoot'in soldier but two can play at that game".  (This is an informative vent on how not to talk to your spouse unless you want to piss them off......first objection.....BADGERING THE WITNESS!!

soo finally posting after reading lots and lots of posts :) sleeping out on the couch tonight due to a massive fight I've had with my adhd partner. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been with him for 4 years, engaged and have a 6 month old baby. When we first got together it was a joke that he was always loosing everything but after 4 years it's just not funny. He hasn't been on medication and has got his appt to sort it out in another 4 weeks, mind you I have been asking him to sort it out for the last 2 years.

Hi all, I am looking for responses of ADHD and non-ADHD spouses. W/O a lot of detail let me just say that my husband has a very big tendency to forget things and an even bigger one to lie about it to cover it up. EXCEPT the lies never make sense so it's normally quite apparent to me that he is not being honest. After our usual  weekly blow-up (I know, this can't be healthy, right?) he says that I push him too hard.