Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi. Long time reader, first time poster, so I sincerely apologize if this post went into the wrong subgroup on the forum.

Let me introduce myself: I'm a 27 year old man, from Sweden, diagnosed with ADHD - as well as post-traumatic stress disorder and social phobia (and the two are, by the way, undergoing very good progress) - and I recently participated in an intense six month ADD/ADHD therapeutic group meeting (with lots and lots of exercises in mindfulness).

I'd like to share (an improved summary of) my "thought notes" with you all, so here they are:

 

Wow. For 17 years, I have felt completely alone in dealing with my severely ADHD husband. I hate that so many of us go through this, but it feels like such a relief to know that I am not the only one on my team.

I really am at the end of the road and it's affecting my life. I am a non adhd partner and this is my first post and Indeed my first point if contact for help and advise. I have been with my partner for just 5 months. I am a gay man of 45 years. I have read through a lot of posts and threads and it has been useful to see the thoughts behind how a non adhd persons reactions can make situations a lot worse. In fact they are destructive. I am so frustrated and I am becoming terribly depressed. I feel like my relationship is a constant battle.

2 years ago, h got into a physical fight with our adult-aged child.  H started the fight, and started the physical aspect.  H is nearly entirely at fault.   H ended up with a black eye.

 

I was the only witness.   over the last two years, H has "changed " the story painting himself as a total victim..   He has not seen or spoken to our son since.   One therapist did tell him that "as the father", he is more responsible since he should taken steps to prevent.   

 

The opportunity was given to my husband for an all expenses paid trip out of the country for our family of four (a gift from his parents). Speaking with him about the trip was as follows: (I promise this is not an exaggeration, I know it sounds ridiculous)

 Tuesday: him: do you want to go?  Me: yes   Him: I don't want to go with my family so I don't want to go...

Wednesday: him: do you want to go?  Me: yes   Him: I don't want to but you can go okay ask my parents..

 

Signing separation papers. January 28, 2015.  I cannot move out, as our financial situation is not in a place where that would work out. If he moved out, I would be stuck in the "physical mess" of my spouses hoarding, and all his business materials are here. I am listening to God. God will not, and has not given me the the word that I can get divorced.

And not because I promised in my vows, nor will be the martyr of believing God made this mess, so he must want me in it. I clearly believe God is chasing after my spouse.

First of all, thank you to all the contributors to this site and forum.  It has helped me so much to read and relate - although I haven't written until now, I've been reading for quite awhile, and it's really really helped me understand things... 

My husband, who has ADHD and other issues, lives with and is caregiver for his parents.  He has been doing so most of the time since September 2011.  The arrangement was supposed to be temporary; he said he would look for a permanent, good-paying job while at his parents' home.  He never has.  (I think he agreed to the arrangement so that he'd have a socially admirable reason for not looking for work and for being away from me.)  During most of this time, even though our relationship was and continues to be rocky, I've tried to offer my husband moral support as far as the caregiving goes.