Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm a Confused, Frustrated & Fed-Up Non-ADHD Husband

So I've been reading a lot of these posts, many of which are Non-ADHD women with ADHD husbands.  I am a Non-ADHD husband and am at my whit's end.  I really don't even know where to begin or what to say here, other than the fact that I am confused, frustrated, tired, and just plain fed-up.  My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and I work from a home office.  Overall, I am frustrated with my wife's significant lack of homemaking skills which include general cleaning & organizing, decorating, planning, etc.   The appearance and cleanliness of our home does not seem to matter to her in any way wh

Can't rely on spouse

The previous thread has become difficult to follow and comment on....so... My H never been reliable, but he gets even worse when he knows it will hurt me. For instance, if he's supposed to help us get ready for something that he's agreed to doing, then he will use that to get what he wants. "I've decided that I won't help with that (or go to that) unless you apologize for (something that I didn't do!)" It's gotten to the point that I refuse to give him these opportunities.

Hyperfocus Relapse?

I finally managed to get my Husband to a counselor who recognizes ADD, the counselor actually did extensive research and is really understanding our situation, my Husband is scheduled with a Psychiatrist for meds.  Nevertheless, that's as far as it went, and I lost hope.  He wouldn't do anything beyond that, no discussions at home, kept avoiding having me involved in "his" counseling, and started to back off his belief that he even has ADD.  After much thought, and reading a lot of the posts here, as well as my books and the books on Co-Dependency, I went to our last session (against his wi

You've been a b!+c# all week (or all day) or (all month) or ???

For the longest time, I have scratched my head when my H would be unreasonable/yell/etc and then he'd excuse his response by saying, "you've been a bitch all (week, month, day, etc).    I would think back and wonder what he was talking about because I had not been "bitchy".....as a matter of fact, H will proudly tell others that I'm always in a good mood, and that I never nag.  (which of course, leaves others scratching their heads because of his complaints about me then don't fit with that.)  

 

Boundaries and learning to not be controlled by anger

I must admit, I re-read some words last night that I had originally thought would be a huge catalyst in sending my relationship in a new direction:

"If you keep your boundaries, those who are angry at you will have to learn self-control for the first time, instead of “other control,” which has been destructive to them anyway. When they no longer have control over you, they will find a different way to relate. But, as long as they can control you with their anger, they will not change."

Hyperfocus wear off?

Hello I was hoping I could get opinions and experience pertaining to the hyperfocus in a relationship. Does this ever end or wear off or is this extreme display of affection and attention carry on into a marriage, and if it does wear off is it gradual or suddenly? What attitude is the hyperfocus replaced with? Thank you in advance! 

Moms and their daughters

Four years ago, my daughter got very angry with me when I shared with my family - meaning my son, my daughter and my spouse - how I realized the error I had made in playing the peace maker and always relenting/giving-in/swaying to my spouse's anger so he could be happy;  how I realized I was NOT doing a good thing;  how doing that  had backfired on me major big time.  I let them know I was determined not to be controlled by my spouse's anger - and I know it would be rough - but I was sure the outcome would be positive.

Are you having problems with your boyfriend/husband

After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr.

Do I Stay or Leave

I need some serious advice. I am struggling so  much mentally and I don't know what to do. I have been with my ADD partner for 4 1/2 years. We share 5 girls, 3 are his from a previous marriage and 2 are mine. We have a son who is 3 together. Since I have met him, my world has been turned upside down. I lost a home I built with my exH, went bankrupt, have moved 3 times due to not paying rent and being evicted, and now luckily have a VERY patient landlord or we would have been kicked out already each month we are behind on rent. I have a full-time job and make relatively good money.

Pages