Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi all, Have been browsing the forum for a while and have gained a lot of insight from your posts - thanks. I have a question. How can I be honest with my partner about how miserable I feel about our relationship without criticising him? I try to voice issues as "complaints" rather than as "criticisms", as advised in Melissa's book, but he is super-defensive and often just takes them as criticisms anyway! Lately I've been feeling really anxious and depressed.

Hi, 

I met my husband online. We talked for 6 months on skype before we met face to face. I never suspected him of ADHD. He was acting normal. We got married after 2 months since our face to face meeting cause we were in love. After that I found out he has ADHD, he gas 3 kids with 3 different women, he gambles/bets. Back then I really thought that everybody has the right to be happy so I didn't freak out. It's been 2 years since our marriage and its not good at all.

My husband and I just celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  The last three years have been a roller coaster.  I met my husband 14 years ago.  It was very apparent to me from our first date, that he had ADD.  He first lied about having it, but later admitted he was diagnosed in his early teens.  We struggled at times due to his forgetfulness, impulsiveness, lying and lack of empathy.  However, we managed to get through our ups and downs.  The two years before our son were born, were probably our happiest.  I felt he was becoming more attentive and caring.  When our son was born, a lot of thin

Hello all…I have been lurking here for sometime and just want to say a BIG thank you to you all. Having  access to a site like this has been very helpful in my quest to understand ADD.

I have a question about setting boundaries, I’m hoping you can help me with, but first some background details.

It is clear to me that we love our ADHD partners.  Although, I see alarming similarities between us and the addict-co-dependant relationship.  We keep trying to get them to feel something that we think they should be feeling or do something we think they should be doing or to stop doing something (like hyper focusing on other women) we don't want them to do.  They have no idea how much we love them and they think we're just miserable people, as opposed to people who are trying to improve our relationships.  My question to all of you is this;

Didn't know where to put this, but this topic seems to fit the bill. As I share my introduction I will try not to sing to the choir, but I'm sure that I will.

My partner and I have been together for 3 years.  He fully acknowledges he has ADHD.  He simply refuses to acknowledge he has any of the symptoms associated with it.  I know that mood swings are common.

Maybe this is a redundant question, but I was wondering something. Does the adhd by itself cause folks to blame others for their inability to do certain things? or is it their way of coping with constant failures on certain issues? I know there is a difference in the frontal lobe of their brains, and certain behaviors are difficult and challenging, but I was just wondering about the blame part. Any ideas on this?

I want to learn how to re-negotiate - well, our lives!  LOL!!!

My outlook for the past 29 years has been "us as a couple" and "my marriage."

Boy, I have everything enmeshed together - the construction business, our relationship with families versus each of our own relationships with people in our families.  I walk in and out of permeable boundaries that really mean nothing.  And it makes my stomach churn.