Hello All
Pretty new to this. Hubby and I split up back in April and have since stumbled upon this amazing resource, are awaiting a formal diagnosis, but in the meantime have started Melissas couples course.
Recently, something has hit me. My boyfriend doesn't understand what its like have depression and what everyday is like for me. He has made some inappropriate comments about my depression, which is what led me to believe he doesn't understand. I do have ADHD and anxiety as well, but he never has made inappropriate comments regarding those issues. Therefore, I'm not as concerned about getting him to understand what its like to live with ADHD and anxiety everyday. So, now my question is this.
Looking for thoughtful advice on how I can manage, without anger, the fact that my ADHD (AA overlay) husband and his ex wife and 2 teenage kids refuse to follow any schedule when the kids will be at our house, and the entire situation is driven on a whim by all of them, all the time. I asked him for 24 hr. notice earlier this year so we can make them beds, have enough food in the house (I stopped going out of my way early on when no one appreciated it and half the time the plans changed) - huge fight.
My dear husband left our home a month ago. I have ridden waves of saddness, anger, grief, fury, numbness, pain...
Hi! This is my first post on this site. I am glad to have found a forum where I can find some support and be supportive.
I can't remember the last time I posted, I suppose it has been almost 2 years. The roller coaster ride continues. I've made huge steps forward myself, I've managed to stop engaging about 75% of the time. Briefly, for those who don't know my history (it is all posted here in previous posts), we have been married 17 years (as of yesterday) and for a while things weren't terribly bad. Job loss, his mother dying, my father dying, an affair (he had), and major financial issues caused him to start spiraling out of control in 2009.
I'm still doing non-stop sleuthing of H's lies and half-truths. I just can't stop because I suspect that nearly everything he tells me anymore is a lie or an exaggeration of the truth. Even if he stopped lying I still couldn't stop trying to see if he's lying. It's past the point of ever being able to believe him again.
Or rather......what isn't ADD/ADHD? Does anyone really know? I don't really know either but I'm sure I have it (me ADHD) according to my therapist and everything I've learned and read about it over the last 10 years. I fit the list of criteria perfectly. I pass all the tests with flying colors. Other people say I act or behave like I have it.....you know what they say? Who are they THEY anyway? Are They the ones who made up the concept of PC? Actually...that was the Moral Majority (which are neither). Are They the ones who decide social constructs?.....the ones who decide one day w
I am new to the website and have yet to find a posting about this issue. First some background. My husband and I have been together 17 years and he was not diagnosed with ADHD until about 4 years ago. Long before he was diagnosed I began to compensate for his behavior. I did everything that needed to be done in the house and for him. On bad days when he didn't want to get out of bed I made that ok too, all the while thinking I was doing the right thing. He never asked for these things but I really thought that by making his life easy it would cause the overwhelming days to happen less
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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