I have been with my ADHD partner for 3 years I have 2 kids 1 from a previous relationship my older child a boy who is 8 and my daughter is 10 months.
My husband, like many of the spouses here, has depression and anxiety along with ADHD. As far as I know, he's not taking any medication now ("they don't help," his words). He's not in therapy. I think he seemed better when on meds and in therapy. Tonight, the death of Robin Williams is weighing heavily on me. Any ideas for encouraging a person with untreated mental health issues to get back into treatment? Thank you.
A quick definition: There is no commitment to a way of thinking and no concern about that lack of commitment.
Combined with ADD: Picture that lack of an inner core of Who I Am, smothered in a host of defensive behaviors, well practiced, to ward off criticism.
It's a normal stage of development, generally resolved in the teenaged years. I think it's a stage that some ADD simply never gets around to. Too distracted, too... busy fighting off criticism, or self-medicating, or whatever.
I find it difficult to accept a lot of the feedback here. I'm not religious, so god ain't getting me through this. I also believe in my husband and know full well what he is/isn't capable of. While I concede that ADD impacts on the way we live our lives, as well as accept that, at times, I need to meet him beyond the middle, I have never been the romantic type and I have never expected my husband to fulfill any void in my life. I don't have an unattainable vision of the perfect relationship.
I am at the end of my rope! I'd say just about 90% of the stuff that comes out of H's mouth anymore is a story to make him look better! I look at his phone when he's not around and I see the continuous texts to his manager as to why he can't come in. Day after day there's something that JUST happened as to why he can't go in. My car broke down and he has to take me in but in the process of doing that his car broke down and he is stranded at the side of the road waiting on a tow truck.
What's up with sudden shifts in reality for ADD?
After about 7 years of battling against what looked like irresponsible, childish behavior, my husband was willing to consider ADD as a possible explanation. At the time, we went together to the general internist and he was given a script for Adderall. At first, it did seem to help. Three years later, that "treatment" is falling horribly short of addressing the issues.
. " I just do my best to pretend to be normal and the adderall helps me fake it better." a quote taken from ellameno. (HI, ellameno)
Everytime my ADD spouse brings something into the house to show me, he has it behind his back. It could one item in one hand, another item in the other hand. This whole "reveal" could take several minutes. This is a crazy way of sharing things... to manipulate the whole timing and how it's presented and making me wait until I'm feeling a bit put off by his behavior, including my loss of interest over the *surprise* item.
I'm new to this, so please be patient with me. My husband appears to have ADHD along with a germ phobia. It has gotten to the point that I honestly don't know how much longer I can stay in this marriage. He knows he has a problem, but when I mention getting help, he says I think he's crazy. We've been married for almost 25 years and its getting progressively worse. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated! He has not been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but he definitely has many of the characteristics.
1) He interrupts your conversation
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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