Recent forum posts (all topics)

Looking for thoughtful advice on how I can manage, without anger, the fact that my ADHD (AA overlay) husband and his ex wife and 2 teenage kids refuse to follow any schedule when the kids will be at our house, and the entire situation is driven on a whim by all of them, all the time.   I asked him for 24 hr. notice earlier this year so we can make them beds, have enough food in the house (I stopped going out of my way early on when no one appreciated it and half the time the plans changed) - huge fight.

My dear husband left our home a month ago.  I have ridden waves of saddness, anger, grief, fury, numbness, pain...

Hi!  This is my first post on this site.  I am glad to have found a forum where I can find some support and be supportive.

I can't remember the last time I posted, I suppose it has been almost 2 years. The roller coaster ride continues. I've made huge steps forward myself, I've managed to stop engaging about 75% of the time. Briefly, for those who don't know my history (it is all posted here in previous posts), we have been married 17 years (as of yesterday) and for a while things weren't terribly bad. Job loss, his mother dying, my father dying, an affair (he had), and major financial issues caused him to start spiraling out of control in 2009.

Or rather......what isn't ADD/ADHD?  Does anyone really know?  I don't really know either but I'm sure I have it (me ADHD) according to my therapist and everything I've learned and read about it over the last 10 years.  I fit the list of criteria perfectly.  I pass all the tests with flying colors.  Other people say I act or behave like I have it.....you know what they say?  Who are they THEY anyway?  Are They the ones who made up the concept of PC?  Actually...that was the Moral Majority (which are neither).  Are They the ones who decide social constructs?.....the ones who decide one day w

I am new to the website and have yet to find a posting about this issue.  First some background.  My husband and I have been together 17 years and he was not diagnosed with ADHD until about 4 years ago.  Long before he was diagnosed I began to compensate for his behavior.  I did everything that needed to be done in the house and for him.  On bad days when he didn't want to get out of bed I made that ok too, all the while thinking I was doing the right thing.  He never asked for these things but I really thought that by making his life easy it would cause the overwhelming days to happen less

How do you stop nagging - or reminding? 

I don't feel like it's my job to help him remember to do things. Yet there are things that he's taken on that he won't let me help with. Those things sometimes have a time-sensitive component to them, so if they are not done in the time that they need to be done, there are consequences. 

Hello - I have been with my partner for 8 years - I left the relationship after the first year but decided to return.  It is long and complicated and I feel I have been confused about my partners behaviour and ways of seeing and doing things the whole time I have been with him. I have come to the end of my rope with trying to understand - I am the only one in the relationship trying to understand our relationship!

This was the question of Mineola, tucked into the middle of another thread, which I tried to answer and then clicked some weird button on my mouse and... poof, it was gone.

Mineola, thank you for your post. I think it was on this household tasks subforum.  You were concerned about sounding narcissistic. You don't!!  You sound like me, who grew up with a very narcissistic family influence and became determined to NOT be that way. Took me years to even recognize that it is OKAY for me to have needs, much less to define them.