Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have been engaged for approximately one year to a man with ADHD. We have been in a relationship for three years. At first I did not notice his symptoms; I thought he was just very energetic and spontaneous. After knowing him for three years now, I am beginning to realize that these qualities are not going to change. He is extremely messy and rarely helps with chores. He had a gambling problem which stopped, however I am always afraid that it will return. He is been pulled over numerous times for speeding and had his license revoked. He also seems to be addicted to pornography.

The newsletter talked about being disconnected.  That you have to share your thoughts, feelings, etc with your partner.  But of course you have to feel safe in your relationship to do so.  I don't think I feel "safe" in my relationship.  If I share my feelings to my ADHD spouse, I either get yelled at, ignored, or made fun of.  If I ask my spouse's opinion about something, I get a sarcastic remark in return.  It all makes for very difficult communication.

I was just listening to a radio soap where a young couple are dating and flirting while reading posts here form people feeling lonely hurt or misunderstood.  I'm tempted to get hubby to help me write a script for a date and then me and hubby can go out and stick to the script and have a lovely time! any thoughts? m

Many of us on this forum are here because we are at our wits end. I assume there are many spouses of ADDers out there who are NOT on this site who are able to negotiate, partner, support without fear of power imbalance and trust their ADD or ADHD partners.  We are here because something is wrong with the partnership and we are at a loss about what it is and what to do about it.  If our ADD partner is denying, fighting and isolating, we are being rejected and ignored as an equal partner in their lives.....in the life of our marriage. 

I'm not sure how much more I can take.  I'm really not handling things well because my patience is worn so thin.  This morning my husband had a job interview and because he had misplaced several things he needed to take with him, and because he only allowed a half hour to eat breakfast and get dressed and organized, he barely made it to his appointment on time.  He is almost always late and he is always loosing things.  This started my day on a bad note because I was trying to get ready for work and had to stop everything and help him get out the door.  Like having a child!

I am sure my story will read like so many others, but last night I was called a "piece of sh?t" by my boyfriend (he is 49 )  because I asked him why he walked out of the room to text or Facebook or something.  His daughter was right there and she in only 9 years old.  This is from a man that when I met him obviously was in hyper-focus mode, he adored me, can't imagine life without me, loves me like no other, blah blah blah... I He has indicated he thought he has ADHD, but when I said I think he does he denies it and says I am crazy.   His son has ADHD and also doctors indicated maybe in the

I have been working very hard to change my thinking as well as what I say, to my ADHD husband as far as "expectations" are concerned. Melissa's book talks about this and so do other books, as well as this forum, and many other sources of information on ADHD. I have to get a new copy of Melissa's book, because I can't find my first copy, and it's been a while since I read it.......so I TOTALLY need to re-read it again.

Guys, 

I am married to someone who might have ADD, but has never been diagnosed (to my knowledge).  His mother passed away and I suspect that there may have been some psychological assessments early in my husband's life (based on things my mother in law said), but my husband doesn't know what his diagnoses were.  In the meantime, he is not very keen on getting tested for anything and we cannot afford counseling.  I've looked for counseling on a sliding scale in my area, but we cannot make the hours work and my husband doesn't want to go anyway.