Recent forum posts (all topics)

Each time I visit this place, I wonder when or if I'll have anything to post on this forum about Hope.

Today, for the first time, seems that maybe there's a sproutling of non-negativity in me. Can't quite call it positivity yet, but close :)

For the past few days, I wrote myself onto the work schedule for regular hours and I have stuck to them!

This was a big Whoo Hoo, because I've been trained to feel duty-bound to be here at husband's shop every moment, at beck and call.

Today, I clocked out for lunch and...  Left !  and...  actually ate lunch!!

My husband (ADHD) and I separated today. We've been having severe marital problems for over a year.  I had found out yesterday that he was looking for rooms to rent and calling family court so I asked him about it, he blew up (as he's been doing about anything I try to talk about in the last two years) left and didn't return until this morning.  He packed his things and said it is over.  He does not believe our marriage can work because we have different personalities (who doesn't?).

I've overlooked many things, been patient, worked with him, talked things out with him, humored him, accepted him...

But there are times where I wonder, is it the ADHD or is he just a jerk? Am I excusing more than I should, because of his ADHD?

My husband denies his ADD. He did very well on Adderall but quit taking it because he didn’t like to go to the doctor for refills. When I try to talk to him about anything at all, he gets angry. If I ask any question, he perceives it as an accusation. We have been married 32 years. I told him the night we met that I did not date men who smoked. He lied and said he did not. I told him I would not marry him if he didn’t quit, he did for only a short time. I would ask every birthday and Christmas if he would quit. He would say that he would if… I would fulfill my part but he still did not.

Well, I started the process of filing for divorce yesterday.  Every time I filled out a field in the form my heart broke more.  I am so sad that I can barely function.  This isnt what I wanted.  I did everything I could to stop this.  Even though I am the one pulling the trigger so to speak, I do so unwillingly.  I do so with the greatest and deepest sadness.  I paid the attorney, filled out the case questionaire, and from there they prep the docs, send over to me for approval then they file.  I would go to the moon and back to somehow change this before its final.  But I know it wont happe

I have been in a relationship with my friend who has ADHD for more than two years. What you didn't know is that I almost committed suicide in the fall of 2013. After we broke up during the summer of 2013, she immediately got into a relationship with her roommate for three months. I had "no-contact" with her during that time and it almost took my life. She came back and told me about and it hurt like hell. In the end, her impulsive and rash decisions caused her to be stalked by her ex-roommate and forced to pay child-support. 

January 28, 2011 I wrote a letter to my ADHD spouse that I would no longer be controlled by his anger.  What I thought at that point in time was the problem in our relationship was me - that I bent and swayed and yielded and allowed myself to be controlled by anger.  

So I stopped the participation in the cycle of anger.  When he tried to yank my chain, I did not yank back.  When he started to argue, I walked away.  When he was rude to me, I stated I would not accept being treated that way, and walked away.  

Any time I express a need for myself my ADHD husband calls me selfish.  It doesn't matter what it is, I am labeled selfish and self centered. It has been this way our entire marriage and I am tired of it.  If I say "Please stop spending money randomly. Every time you do this I have to recalculate everything", I am selfish.  If I say "Please fix the faucet that has been inoperable for 8 months", I am selfish. Any concern I have, need I have, and most certainly any want I have, if I express it I am selfish.  He only sees what he thinks is necessary.