Recent forum posts (all topics)

My wife has been frustrated with me lately and it turns out my psych said the Focalin I'm on is "speed".  Since she grew up with the worst of the worst drugs which both her mother and father abused their entire life, she thinks she's going through it again.  If I don't take my med I told her I'd likely loose my job since I've already been warned at work.  Anybody know the best way to approach this?  It is highly emotional for her, so I reassured her, but she said she'd never be convinced it isn't speed.  

Thanks for any positive contributions you may have!

Ed 

Does anyone else have trouble with an adhd spouse and their hygiene? I have trouble with finding creative ways to say please wash etc and its killing me especially since they smoke. How do I work on asking them to clean themselves?their space?and work on their hoarding? The forgetfulness makes the personal hygiene very bad and it makes messes so much worse.I have trouble being together with them when they haven't showered or shaved etc.

I do the bookkeeping in our family, including the finances for the construction business partnership of my spouse and son.  

What exactly ARE boundaries for my end?  Let's just look at this one specific current situation:

Hi everyone,

I'm very new to this site but I've been reading a lot of your posts & feeling both relieved & overwhelmed at all our common experiences.  For some background, I am 32 years old & have been married for 6 years to my husband who has ADHD.  He is currently going to counseling & should be getting on some medication here in the next couple of weeks.  I am still reading through The ADHD Effect on Marriage & trying to work on my end of things.

I have been complaining about dh for years (mostly silent complaining but it also came too many times out of mouth).  I wanted to have a husband to love and respect and someone to love and care for me and respect our marriage and me.  Here is how I had been.  I was saying in my head:

1. It is not fair.  He gets to have fun and I get to worry about the future.  I want to be happy like him with no cares and the ability to laugh everything off.  With someone else taking care of the necessities and the security. 

I'll start out by saying that I am the ADD spouse. My husband and I met 16 years ago and dated for 6 years before getting married. I was diagnosed with ADHD about 2 years into our marriage. Like anyone else we had our share of problems. Before being diagnosed it had gotten to the point that he was being very aggressive and cruel to me - I had even researched emotional abuse (which he did discover when I accidently left a web page up on my computer.) Some things he accused me of were lying, cheating, having a gambling and/or drug problem.

I know that we each have different situations and we're dealing with variations in personality and severity of add, but I would appreciate any comments you can offer.

Last night, add spouse initiated an attack. This one did not escalate, because I did my best to remain calm, outwardly. Inwardly, my turmoil brought me to pray to God for wisdom. In the middle of the night, I woke myself up screaming from a nightmare. I watched him fiddling with something on his arm first, and then on my arm. I looked down at the place I'd seen him pick it up and realized that he was using a razor blade. He had sliced the blade across his arm, but there was no wound, so he was testing it out on me.

I met what I thought was my souls mate 4 years ago.  Obstacle after obstacle, reason after reason, chaos after chaos has made the last 4 years a weekly roller coaster!  A year and a half ago my partner finally begin taking medication for her ADHD.  I know believe she is under medicated and under treated, but chooses to rely on just her one time doctor appointment and 4 pills a day to state she has made changes to better things and anything beyond that is just me wanting to change everything about her.