Recent forum posts (all topics)

I had suspected my DH had ADHD for months.  We were seeing a therapist for one of our children for another reason and so was able to discuss one-on-one with him.  He agreed to do the eval on my DH and ended up diagnosing DH with ADHD - PI.  However, he said DH only needs meds - no therapy.  WHAT!?!?!?  The shocker was when he told me that I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Traits and I need months of therapy.  

Of course, when I read what the traits are, I think anyone living with a spouse with unmanaged ADHD would exhibit these traits/thoughts:

I just recently became aware of ADHD being the likely contributor to much hurt and pain in my life. I have joked for a long time about having ADD/ADHD not ever really taking it seriously or realizing how many aspects of one life it can effect. I have recently come to realize how much it encompasses. I have often fought with my wife over things in the house not getting done or forgetting to do things. I have honestly wanted to improve but the improvement is slow to come or neglect or forgotten about soon.

 Does anyone know if women are more willing to work with their ADHD than men? (not ALL, just a greater number) It seems like some of the wives with ADHD are more willing to work with their ADHD, than it is the men (husbands) with ADHD. (again not ALL, but maybe more) I've read that some of the wives even become more like the non-ADHD spouse in  a double ADHD marriage. Is there a reason for this? or is this a possibility?

My husband, ADHD, no meds because he refuses to follow up on doctors appointments, has been unemployed most of the 22 years we have been together. Its always someone else's fault. At this point I have given up on him ever contributing, I make good money and he does a little housework. He is addicted to shopping and collecting and the entire bottom half of our house is filled with his stuff. There is no talking to him, I have tried that. I don't know what to do, I have resigned myself to the fact that he is my burden to carry.

I am so glad I found this forum to express my portion of this horrible friend I have carried all my life called ADHD.  It turned out that it was thru some school issues about my youngest child that I was suggested by her psychiatrist to get tested for ADHD.  My child has some of the signs of ADHD but does not meet all the criteria.  So I went to a psychologist and got a huge long psychometric battery of tests that dug out things of my entire life since I was a child.  The study measure many things from attention, decision making, intelligence, character, etc etc etc.  Then I met with a psyc

I'm the Non-ADHD spouse. My Husband (33 years old) of 2 1/2 years was recently diagnosed with ADHD. We have been together for a total of 4 years, but it feels like a lot longer. My health hasn't been good. I have been experiencing migraines on a daily basis (due to being stressed), I have severe depression, I regularly think about suicide, and I have really bad anxiety attacks quite frequently. I really don't want to go on medication since I don't want to deal with any negative side-effects. My Husband started taking 2 daily doses of Adderall (10 mg each) about 3 weeks ago.

I haven't seen a post about the ADHD'R having issues with the spouse being the main focus. I came from a majorly diss functional family, so very young (4/5) I chose to build a replacement family later in life that would correct all the wrongs I was dealing with. Well between emotional immaturity, bad planning skills, and a very wicked case of ADHD being unregulated I lived my life. Typical low self esteem and anxiety kept me from dating, but one day I met my wife and it was on. Time to live my dream, my dream built by 4/5 year old architect.

What have we learned after decades of being married to someone who is not coping and addressing or even accepting ADD / not trying at all to work and commit and be a partner?

Had I known how it would turn out.....Had I known what I know now....Had I known it would never change from the early struggling days......I would have:

• I would have left the first time I caught him with another woman.

I am trying a new way of dealing with my significant other's funk/drama/blaming me for his negative feelings. He is depressed because he is having a lot of trouble getting a job. Yesterday was our anniversary and he sat home (we don't live together) and moped because he got a job rejection. I am sad for him, and supportive, and didn't give him a hard time. Since he feels bad about himself, he is blaming our relationship, the people who aren't hiring him, etc. for his unhappiness. He has untreated ADD symptoms and is not seeking help.

I could make this out to be a really long post, but to get to the crux of the matter I feel like my husband, deep down (or not so deep down), really does not want to work.  He has a very low-paying job at a hotel right now, which I think he has managed to stick with for the last 4 years because his boss is, in a very dysfunctional way, his "friend."  The job is also lower stress than a lot of other jobs, and hubby gets to bring his Nintendo DS to work to play with most days.  He still complains how much he hates the job, however, and the customers, and his boss, and so on.  He hates everyth