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I am a 33 year old wife with ADHD.  This is my problem, I feel like I'm actively seeking treatment for ADHD, but my husband doesn't want to get on board with any recommendations from the book.  He read the first half about a year ago, and got very angry.  Like stated in the book, he feels like he should just take my outburst or symptoms and say "oh that's her just ADHD", and then not say anything to me.  I told him that is not what I want for us.

I sincerely want to read EVERY post in this forum and there is no way to do that in a way that satisfies my "checklist brain." So I'm left with a taste of overwhelmed information overload.

We have a storage unit that is filled to the brim with junk. Last summer DH told me that he needed to have another storage unit to organize from the bigger storage unit, and that he only needed it for a week (he charmed the storage unit manager into doing this). It is now January and I have been paying for two storage units this entire time. We have had this storage unit for 15 years, and he has made zero progress on organizing it. He has plenty of time (unemployed), but never makes any progress; well, unless you count spending 12 hours a day surfing the the Internet progress.

When my husband doesn't take his meds (which is most weekends or any day he doesn't have to go to work), he is constantly harping on everyone about things we didn't do, picking at the kids, physically bugging them like tapping their shoulder over and over just to get a rise, etc.  Every single question I ask is met with a question in return.  For example, "Are you mad at me about something?"  His reply: "Should I be mad at you about something?"  If I ask him how to do something like get a computer program to work, his reply is "Well how do you think you would do it?"  Is this just something

Compiled List from Materials

To the ADHD Spouse:

I've seen postings here and in other places of questions in quiz format of how to decide if you might have ADHD... but what I'm looking for is more of a list of statements as in the first two chapters of the book. 

I want to approach my husband conversationally.. by saying something about how I found a list of statements that fit me.. and that I think this other list of statements might be how he feels.  (Like "was your wife fun loving when you met but a complete nag now?"

I am certain my husband has ADHD... and that we should seek treatment. Probably meds.

But, my husband is a paramedic and firefighter... which are the jobs, information says, are great for these guys.

If he treats the problems, what happens to the strengths?

I need help. My husband has ADHD, and does not want medication.  So I suggested other options.  I am trying to brainstorm solutions for some of our home and life issues. We can get past the chore issue, but when it comes to his coaching and work he clams up.  He is so busy with coaching and work there is no time for me or himself.  Its created a huge health issue for him (eats fast food everyday, gained a tremendous amount of weight it hurts to walk and gets hardly more than 5hrs of sleep a night).

I had another argument with my ADHD spouse.  

The most ironic thing he said to me:  "I am exhausted." Gosh - very strange. . . . . . . . . . .

I do not want to be saying who is right nor who is wrong.  Our paradigms are so different. 

We have not had any intimacy of any sort in very close to 3 years.  Actually, on January 28th it will be exactly 3 years.  I had thought I was deciding to refuse to be controlled by his anger - it has resulted in his being angry for a very long time.  3 years.  How is that working for me?  It is not.  

My ADHD husband is always trying to start new business ventures.  He has spent so much time and money in our 7 year marriage (and before that his parents were constantly financing his ideas) and nothing has ever worked but he says he will keep trying because he's not a quitter.  The problem is he jumps into things without having enough money to back him up and eventually loses the business and his investment, because he can't support it while it's in its early stages.  This is a man who has a business degree, he should know better!  His latest venture is going to be quite costly and time co