Recent forum posts (all topics)

A frank and uplifting account of living with a partner with mental health problems for many decades.

I have just listened to this programme on BBC Radio Scotland. Although the lady in the programme is talking about her decades of marriage with her husband who is bipolar, rather than ADHD, her fortitude and resiliance is relevant to anybody living with a partner with any mental health condition. She talks a lot about how she can only change her own responses and behaviour, which is the same message as Melissa Orlov gives in her book. I'm not sure how long this programme will be available for, so best to listen asap.

The irrational thinking is killing me

My husband that I am separated from but living with right now, blew up this morning. It started with him attempting to start laundry while I was cooking breakfast. I reminded him (not as gently as I should for such an unstable personality) that I planned on doing my laundry after breakfast, but told him he could if he keeps up with it. He declined. 

He gave me the cold shoulder after that and a couple hours later, announced he was going to the laundromat. I reminded him how silly that was, considering mine was almost done, and he started in with the blame. 

How much help do you give ADHD spouse?

DH decided to take a leadership role in son's cub scout pack. I warned him about the work involved and advised against it, but true to form, he took it anyway. I told him not to expect me to help, as I am already ds's den leader and we have a daughter in her own activities. Because the pack leader left, he was basically just handed everything with no one in place for other leadership roles. He either hyperfocuses and spend crazy amounts of time planning, researching, etc., or does nothing with.it. He planned a pinewood Derbyworkshop for tomorrow.

Just can't stand him sometimes

Just need to vent, I just can't stand my husband, most of the time (99% of the time).  Everything he does annoys me.  He can't remember anything I say.  We are planning a trip to DC, actually I am planning the trip.  I've told  him over and over when we are leaving, how long the drive, etc.  He asked me just now, how long is the drive?  Can you please remember something!  He asks me stupid questions that he should really be able to decide on his own, he heated up chicken nuggets for our son and asks me are they hot enough?  He is 44 years old, he can't tell if they are hot enough.  My son e

Best kind of counseling for a successful marriage in light of unique issues?

Hi everyone, I have never posted about this problem online before, and in fact I generally avoid such online forums because it always seems like a lot of "misery loves company" without many sincere solutions on offer.  That being said, obviously for me to be here I have reached a certain level of hopelessness and am hoping to hear from others who have genuinely improved their relationships, and find out what worked in those cases.

Funny story I heard on TV

CBS Sunday Morning did a profile of James Carville and Mary Matalin. He is so hyper that he says one day a doctor approached him at an airport and said "I've been watching you for 5 minutes and I think you have ADHD." He got diagnosed and treated and it improved his marriage a lot. If strangers can see it, why can't the ADDer him/herself see it, or their spouse?

This Might be too long -- ADHD husband on new meds has left me

i have been doing some reading here and i am seeing for the first time that others are struggling with this awful disease and all that goes with it, just like me. <!--break-->

My husband and I have been together for 21 years, married for 15, most of them difficult.  He was diagnosed ADHD as a child but has been unmedicated (for that disease, anyway) until about 9 days ago.  He has taken an antidepressant for probably almost the whole time I have known him, however.

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