Recent forum posts (all topics)

ADHD spouse seems to be floundering; can I do anything?

My husband's main source of income the past three years has been from providing companionship and some caregiving to his ailing elderly parents.  H has somewhat typical ADHD behaviors and symptoms:  difficulty keeping a good job; financial problems; denial of responsibility for his role in problems; difficulties with communication and intimacy; avoidance of certain kinds of responsibilities and tasks; comorbid mental health issues (depression and anxiety).  We have been living apart this fall but he was home this weekend because our daughters had just arrived for the holidays.

Cannabis

I would love to know how many other wives of ADHD husbands have found that they have a persistent cannabis habit - that does not escalate into drug addiction, but that probably makes their ADHD symptoms worse? I was terribly naive about this as well, believing him when he promised to give up when we got married, and then when I noticed he was sitting at home smoking instead of getting a job, when the first baby was born. Of course he did not, but sort of learned to hide it from me. I also always wanted to believe his promises.

To leave or not leave

My husband and I have had problems all through our 10.5 years of marriage. There is no short list to list all but within the last year our son was diagnosed with ADHD and possibly bi-polar. Then my husband was diagnosed with ADHD but I also feel there is an undiagnosed bi-polar that is playing a part as well. My ADHD husband barely has a part time job so he keeps our son around school and he is better at finances then me so he does our finances. So in his eyes he feels as if he does everything and as he says he has to do everything  for me as well bc I do nothing.

He told me he feels broken

My bf told me that he feels "broken" in that he doesn't think he experiences emotions the way other people do. He said he reads about how some people experience feelings and that he doesn't have a similar experience. I asked him for an example, and he said he doesn't really cry or experience sadness. We have talked about him possibly having ADD before, but he hasn't looked into it, probably because it will make him feel bad about himself.

Non-ADHD Spouse

I am the ADHD husband. Had it my whole life. Even saw a psych when I was a kid. Parents took me trying to figure out why this and that. He never diagnosed it. Now I'm married with a beautiful wife, breast cancer survivor, and two wonderful children(one with ADHD). Would not trade any of them. When I first read the book, I was trying to figure out how I was being followed so well without me knowing it. I have all of the problems that the book describes. Right now I am in a serious funk.

Losing hope - where did my husband go?

It is my first time posting here and it is probably too late for my marriage of nearly 20 years. My husband was just diagnosed a few months back, and has taken it incredibly hard. He won't go to couples therapy, claiming it is too expensive, yet he just spent nearly $50,000 on a remodeling project we didn't agree to do. We had been working on the ADHD marriage home course, which he only agreed to after I threatened to leave. He listened to the first couple sessions with me, but never did the homework, and then just stopped showing up to the dates we set.

Denial

It has been over three years now since I reached the end of a very frayed tether and stopped living with my husband. He drifted off into the irresponsible life of a teenager, fully financially supported by his family and occasionally dipping in and out of the children's lives. While I got on with the business of being the parent, making sure the children were ok, while feeling certain things within me breaking apart with the effort of 'bearing it'.

Pages