Recent forum posts (all topics)

My husband is the ADHD partner.

My dad and brother were both ADHD so I went into the marriage already knowing a little about it, and on top of that I've listened to my husband's descriptions and done hours upon hours of my own dedicated research.  However--there are some aspects of being in a marriage with an ADHD partner that no amount of research can prepare you for.

Does anyone have any experience with a spouse that has ADHD, OCD and anxiety? My wife has been diagnosed with all of them. Early on in our marriage we had a lot of issues. My temper being a very big one. I have tried numerous meds over the past 6 years and the last 2 settled on Cymbalta. I LOVE IT!!!! It has made such a difference in how I react. I still go to therapy every week for myself. I don't know how to work with my wife. She is on Adderall and just started taking Wellbutrin for the 5th time this year.she likes the high the meds give her.

So much is written about the non-ADD partner's anger and resentment. But I've found very little about what to do when the ADD partner accumulates these emotions. And that is where I live. Is this part of anyone else's experience?

I just need to vent!  Recently I realized that while I have been struggling with our issues the last 3 months she has been working on her communication and relationship with her ex---for the sake of their son.  I new something else had captured her attention!  I saw it and felt it!  She becomes so focused on what she thinks is right that she just blurts out what is going in in HER life without thinking how to include me or how it might hurt me!

I used to love watching TV and it was one of the things me and hubby have in common. We've been married 14 years. Early in our marriage. We used to live to watch TV together. But I've come to realize it seems to be the thing he's closest too. I used to suggest doing other things with our time. Like board games. He did play a couple of times with me  but he was miserable doing it. The last time I suggested it. I had set up a table with 2 cups of hot chocolate & whipped cream and set up a game of backgammon. It looked so inviting too.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD several years into our marriage.  I often feel lonely, ignored and frustrated with his moodiness.  He is either extremely up (child-like, hyper, annoying) or extremely angry and crabby.  There seldom is a middle ground and I find it very difficult to deal with.  I consider myself a very even keel person so it is tough for us to relate at times.  Any advice on how to help him stabilize moods? He is on medication.

oops

Big heavy sigh!  I hope this is an active sight, because I have reached out before and most sights are from years ago.

Looking for a support group in Toronto, Ontario for non-ADHD spouses.  Does anyone know of one?  Would anyone be interested in starting one?  I think that many of us are in the same boat, where we feel very alone, with no one to talk to about this, because either people do not believe us, or they don't have the context of understanding Adult ADHD, and how it manifests itself so differently from the hyper children that I think most people imagine.  Oh how I would love to have someone to talk to who understands my experience of living and raising two children with an ADHD spouse.

I don't know if this song is in heavy rotation in all of your radio markets yet, but it is here and I feel it really expresses the anguish some of us are going through...not wanting to leave our ADHD partners, but feeling at the end of our rope.  And then silent or in denial...

I have not closed the door on my relationship, but it may have been closed for me.  2 weeks ago I left his house after a fight (he's pissed cuz he feels blamed for everything, I'm pissed cuz I feel neglected and feel he needs to get evaluated for ADHD...) and I have not heard from him since.