Recent forum posts (all topics)

This an earnest question, when someone makes decisions and takes actions that they are completely aware are hurtful and destructive, can it really be ADD, or are they just an a$$hole? And actually, does it even matter?

My husband and I have been together for 8 years, have one 3 yr old son. My husband has never been diagnosed with ADHD as he has never sought out any help, doesn't think he has a problem. His father mentioned to me years ago that my husband should've been diagnosed with ADHD as a child. He also has a head injury from a bad car accident he had in his teens. All thru our relationship and marriage there has been emotional /verbal abuse. He has had numerous screaming fits, tantrums if he lost something or couldn't fix something.

I am new to this site, and to posting about my ADD husband.  A background on me: We have been married for 22 years.  In  many respects, we are a success story.  My husband has always worked hard to provide for the family, and I try to accept his disorganization, distraction and emotional disconnect (on occasion) patiently and with understanding.  We have 5 children, the oldest being 21, then 19, 16, 14, and 7.  Two of our children have shown strong tendencies towards ADHD. one of which has a diagnosis of ADD PI (primarily inattention).  I love my husband, he has many wonderful qualities.

For those of you following my story, my wife has decided not to talk to me anymore other than important things involving our house. When I returned from my trip, we began counseling again. It was a rocky start. We both had alot of things we wanted to say and the first couple of sessions were tense. Our counselor thought that I did a good job of getting my point across without being impulsive or letting my feelings guide my responses though I was understandably emotional.

Hi Everyone,

I recently started dating a guy with adhd. At first I didn't know anything about this disorder, he told me a bit about it but never went too indeep.

He had very bad past relationships. Of which the last ended one month before we met. He said he loved this girl but then I found out that they have been seeing each other rarely and more in a friendly way, then when to him it was time to be official and be bf/gf she freaked out and told him that she didn't care and wanted to date other people. He doesn't seem to realize that this might be depending on him.

I recently started to suspect that my 31-year-old husband of 2 years has undiagnosed ADHD. I've brought it up to him a couple of times and suggested that he get evaluated. He revealed that as a teenager, he abused Adderall that was not prescribed to him (I assume he got it from friends), using it for "partying". He said it did help him concentrate but he is afraid that if he is prescribed medication now, he will be unable to resist abusing it again, as in not being able to control himself from taking too much.

Like every other non-ADHD spouse on this website, pretty much everything resonates.  I can relate to just about every post, comment, etc.  Unfortunately.

History married 7.5 years with 2 kids 4 and 6.  I have 3 older kids from my first marriage that my spouse gets along very very well with.  My husband was not diagnosed with ADHD until 2 years or so ago even though everyone knew he had it.  I was thought to have anxiety my whole life but found it was another form of ADHD.  I am a type A over achiever my husband is an masters educated fumbling mess.  He was laid off from his job as a mathematics professor in January 2011 and has not worked since.

For some people, a spouse filing for separation or divorce is the thing that makes them realize the seriousness of the situation and finally accept that if they want to stay married, they must do something about their behavior.  My husband appears to be an exception.  His fear of talking about and dealing with issues is too strong for even death of the marriage to sway him.  I'm not looking for answers here; just sharing.

I haven't posted in several months. I was pretty much into the habit of using this community as a resource for mindfulness, but when my wife found this forum and read all that I had posted it was a problem. Like so many times when you are actually on track doing something productive, an unexpected snag, complication, unpleasantness, or delay makes for a very compelling excuse to jump the tracks and shift to something else.