Recent forum posts (all topics)

I don't think that I've ever posted before, but I read quite regularly.  I am the non add spouse - my husband was diagnosed about 3 yrs ago, though I knew fairly quickly into our marriage that add was an issue.  We've been married 15 yrs and things started out pretty rocky as neither one of us had very good relationship skills or role models (his parents were active alcoholics who fought constantly prior to divorcing, mine where conflict avoiders who didn't fight at all until until divorcing) and we had some difficult challenges very early on that lead to some trust issues on both sides we

My OP has been deleted to protect my husband's feelings. All of your responses were welcome and appreciated — so much that I immediately purchased the book.  Now he may come across these forums and I do not want to leave evidence that might be interpreted as mean spirited or unkind.

Thanks for all of your support, everyone! Great to know I'm not alone.

I am a 40 year old male that was diagnosed (family physician) with ADD earlier this year. I just recently was officially diagnosed through an ADHD psychologist. I have been on meds for several months. Unfortunately I did not do much research when I was initially diagnosed and figured the meds would take care of it. This created every one of the marital patterns Melissa describes in her book on both myself and wife's part. They have been present of course since before I was diagnosed but not recognized or dealt with at all.

Hi

I have been reading from this forum for a few weeks now because I really needed help to understand how I have been feeling for the past few years.

I am 61 years old my husband is 65. We met when I was 17 and have been married for 42 years. We had 2 daughters age 41 and 39 and 2 granddaughters.

Last December, my daughter called me and asked if we can take care of our 15 year old granddaughter. Of course we said yes because we were aware of the problems they have been having.

My ADD husband has made me start questioning myself and my own needs - his rebuttals are often off topic or specific to one tiny literal detail of a conversation. I am going in circles in my head - am I making this all up, overreacting, crazy?  Do I need to continue to be accused of an affair (which is a ridiculous notion) every time I make plans with friends?  The only time I do anything social (he refuses) or for myself?!?  Do I need to constantly nag him?  Do I need to drop everything to help him find his wallet or phone for the 5th time this week?

My husband has ADHD and I am so relieved to have found this resource! One thing that I have difficulty with is that I always seem to have to change plans to suit him. We can have something on the schedule for months in advance, and when the event arrives, especially if it is something that I have showed interest in, it always seems that something that is more important to him comes up, or he decides that he doesn't want to do anything at all.  I am feeling as though my wants and needs don't matter anymore and I am losing touch with things that I enjoy.

I have come to my wits end... I falling apart, suffocating & dying inside. I have a husband with ADHD. He self diagnosed himself and after researching ADHD and knowing what to say he got a doctor to get on his side and medicate him, even though he didn't quite score enough to get medicated. He blamed ADHD for all his problems. Never motivated, never wants to work and therefore can't earn an income to even feed his family, which has left me working 50 hrs a week trying to make ends meet, run a House and look after 2 small children. Our marriage has been a struggle from day 1.

My wife (we married in 2000) was diagnosed with ADHD about eight years ago. She has tried many primary medications (Ritalin, Adderall, Vyvanse) and a good amount of secondary medications (Effexor, Wellbutrin). I don't think she ever quite found the right combination for her—but she did have a certain degree of success with some of them—but she always complained about anxiousness, sweating, weight gain, and feeling jittery, which made them unacceptable.

I have adhd and frustrated because its hard to keep up with every thing. I work hard and make a very good income. I have a vey loving wife and 4 children. My baby is a senior in high school. I am 44 yrs old yet I have a strong desire to downsize to a condo or something smaller which would free up time and money and stress on myself. I thought maybe we as a couple would have more freedom and less cost thus being to travel and go out and play more. On the other hand my wife likes the big house and pool for the family parties and for the kids to come to as their families grow.

Since reading Dr Orlov's wonderful book, I've been working hard to alter my behavior and not nag and criticize the way that I'd become accustomed to doing about all the weird things my partner does that never seemed to change. It's been a challenge but has been very rewarding to know that there is something I can do besides stay after her for her neglect of me, her forgetting things constantly and many other small things that go on and on. Things initially got better and we were discussing finding a therapist for her. We also argued far less, not much at all. Then things worsened again.