Recent forum posts (all topics)

everyone is blaming me

I finally got my husband to agree to seeing a psychiatrist. We live in France and I went through so many hoops to get us there - translating letters from French to English you name it. It has been truly awful. Despite a history of ADD-like problems at school, work and in previous relationships my husband managed to convince the psychiatrist that I'm the problem. My nagging and constant monitoring apparently puts him under so much stress that he forgets stuff and gets distracted etc.

My ADHD guy is in so-o much pain

My spouse is hurting.  He is the place I want to sweep in and fix - because I really do have that power.  Bent.  Yield.  Change my mind.  

He is crying over the money we have spent on counseling over the past 29 years.

He is crying and shaking over the physical connection he has put between his deceased parents and the RV we purchased with some of the $$ he inherited when they passed.  He doesn't want to sell it - he doesn't want to share it - but he will not take the time off from work to use it, so it is slowly depreciating . . . . .and that makes it a thorn in MY side.

My ADHD: academic struggles and lack of awareness

As a child, about the age of 8, I was diagnosed with ADHD.  I was given medication (Ritalin) and sent on my way. After being singled out every year of school after that-told I was LD and frequently embarrassed in class by the teacher, I decided to learn some strategies to help me concentrate in school. I started by marking the time on the clock on the wall and trying to attend to the teacher as long as I could while trying to absorb every single word and understand what she was saying. And when there was a pause, I would look up at the clock to see how long I was focused on her.

MY focus

Daily I think of the person I once was and the person I have now become inside of myself.  I can't believe how I have changed.  I used to be SUPER competent, happy inside, well-adjusted, good outlook, faith-filled.  I know about operant conditioning and feel that while dh has made some advances in his standard of living since we married and I have been a good influence on him, I have compromised myself into being LESS THAN I was because of my constant allowances and trying to understand him and be WITH him.  My focus today, and for the next year, is to heal myself.

Inability to see consequences of ADD on relationship

I have been married for 18 yrs to an ADD spouse.  His ADD has gotten worse over the years.  The biggest things we struggle with are is general inattentiveness to the relationship, chronic lateness, clutter with all his belongings and inability to but anything where it belongs.  He seems incapable of seeing how these things negatively affect me and our household.  I'm always supposed to be the understanding wife.  I get very weary of it and stay stressed out much of the time.  It has gotten to the point that we are very testy with each other most of the time and always on the defensive.  It

We need help!!!! Finding A good therapist seems impossible!!!

My ADHD husband and I have been struggling for several years with symptoms from his ADHD. I'm finding our story is the same as many of you, after reading through the forum and reading "The ADHD Effect on Marriage". So My Husband has finally agreed to search for a therapist, take medication, or whatever it takes to treat these symptoms that are causing turmoil in our day to day lives. Now I feel like we are at a stand still. The very few therapists we have found that deal with adult ADHD are booked months in advance. Others specialize in children or do not deal with ADHD.

First night away from ADHD partner after separation.

Hi guys,

I have posted on here before and vented my frustrations but tonight I'm heart broken. I just separated from my ADHD partner and have moved out. Today was spent moving all my stuff up to my dads house and now here I am alone with my thoughts (I also have ADHD) and feel anxious and unettled.

Doubts

I am am about a month into this process of learning about ADHD and attempting to put in place some structure to mitigate my symptoms. There is so much overlap to our(wife and I) situation that I am confident that this is the root of the issue, but the more I read the more the overall summary of ADHD seems to veer off my experience. Specifically I was reading part of Melissa's book last night:

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