Recent forum posts (all topics)

"The kindest thing someone can do for a practicing alcoholic is to leave him. That is because propping him up will only keep him longer away from doing something positive about himself, before it is too late. Fact is he may think he is O.K. and not that bad, if someone is putting up with him or propping him up, as the saying goes." This quote comes from http://howtosurviveaa.com.  I am not sure my dh is an alcoholic.  I do feel that beer is his best friend.

Hi all

Having been married for 20 years, 2 teenage kids my husband has recently been diagnosed with ADHD.  This put a lifetime of experiences with him into perspective. And it has put a light on my loneliness.  Reading lots of the posts here I identify and empathize with so many experiences.  

I am going through a hard time emotionally right now, because my older daughter is graduating from college next week, and I'm finding it difficult to separate my thoughts and memories of her time at college from what else has happened at the same time.  Just before she graduated from high school, approximately four years ago, my husband was fired from his job.  Although he earns a little money by working for his parents, he has not looked for a job since getting fired.  Things have been and continue to be hard for us financially, even though I've been able to work more.

I noticed that my ADHD boyfriend's perspective on almost anything is dependent on his mood.  This presents a problem since his mood is always changing drastically.  Here's a great example:

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So, is this just another of the aspects of ADHD?  Hoarding?   

I was first learning about ADHD around 1995 when my son was in first grade.  As time progressed towards high school, his backpack was definitely the 'black-hole' that is so common with ADHD children.  I could clearly understand its correlation with executive function.  He was unable to discern what to keep and what to throw away.  It seemed to never fail, if he did throw something out, he needed it at a later date.  So, his way of coping was to keep it all. 

The goal here is to note all "events" in my marriage. I hope that through this they won't fade away. Very shortly after an altercation I have a very hard time remembering what was said. Hopefully I can note details here and learn something from the reminder.

This is more for me than anything. Not actively looking for input or response, though that is welcome. Doing something like this in a journal is an activity I've always hated, and probably wouldn't follow through with.

I am interested in the job histories of those of you with ADHD (or of your ADHD spouses). 

Sometimes I remind myself that people are allowed to have different expectations and desires, from things like the temperature of the soup to things like marriage.  I think that perhaps my husband's expectation of and desire for marriage is that it will be an undertaking to which he need not make any contributions.  My expectation and desire, in contrast, is that it be a joint undertaking.  Is it acceptable for me to end the marriage for this reason?

I have anxiety and ADHD, both of which I am treating.  Anxiety is the greater challenge, and in the past I have been rather hot-headed and prone to making huge issues out of tiny ones.  Lately with the help of meds, I've been able to notice that not every issue in our relationship is my fault.  My boyfriend also has an anxiety disorder, but refuses to recognize it.  His stress can be off the charts, usually resulting in 3-6 days of unendurable crankiness.  We don't live together, so I avoid him when he gets into one of these moods.