Recent forum posts (all topics)

I found this forum last night in desperation after a huge fight my wife and I had. I really should have posted then, because with time my resolve to reach out like this wanes. It was very late though, and I had to weigh unhealthy behaviors. The reason I am posting here is that our marriage is in a very bad place, and I'm too messed up to even know how to move in a positive direction. There is so much detail to give, so instead of writing everything and never submitting, this may come in installments.

Hi everyone. 

This is my first post, I was going to go through everything but I got a bit over whelmed so I have decided to approach this in parts. 

Firstly a quick opener about me and the situation. :) 

I've been with my ADHD partner for 5 years. Living together for about 3 years. I always knew our relationship was different so to speak, I found myself having to approach arguments, Disagreements, Etc in a different way than I would with anyone else and trying to find the best way/time to communicate and get my point across. 

Hello, I have been married for 7 years to my INATTENTIVE ADD husband.  He wasn't diagnosed with ADD until after we were married.  He is a really nice guy and is great at playing with the kids BUT.... fill int he blank with all the usual things.  He doesn't pick up, he pays me little attention, our sex life is horrible (he can't "finish the job" and yes, we've been to a dr), he can't remember to do anything, his communication is horrible and he shows no emotions - at all.

First post - so here goes.

Was diagnosed about a year or two ago.

Started out with one Adderall XR during the day, and saw improvement, but I think there could be more.  I asked to switch to regular Adderall because there is a generic form and it was much cheaper - $10/mo vs about $100.  Similar results there.

About a month ago my doc and I agreed that I could bump it up to 20mg 3x a day.  Oh, I'm 34, 6'3" 270lbs.  This helped with not being completely exhausted when I got home, and helps me with family time after work.

Hello, this is my first post, and I am new to the concept of ADD and its impact on our family. My wife (of 14 years) has very recently been diagnosed with ADD Inattentive type - though she does not accept it openly (I believe in her heart she knows it to be true). For me this was a revelation. I asked the ADD specialist who diagnosed my wife, to recommend books to help me understand the condition. My goal, to be better able to deal with the impact ADD has on me, my two young boys, and to be able to support my wife and be the best husband I can possibly be.

My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years.  We have 4 children - oldest 14, youngest 5.  We are both professionals, but I have been at home with the kids for quite some time.  As his job had more demands, he struggled to get it all done.  With some encouragement, he has been diagnosed with ADHD and has been on medication for just over a year - vyvanse.  Starting last summer, I noticed that he was more angry and was spending more time away, particularly away from me although he has also spent less time with our kids.  When I asked him in the fall what was going on, he said that

I feel l have learned so much about ADD since last summer when a counselor first suggested it might be a fit for my dh. As many others, I associated ADD with hyperactive kids. Inattentive subset fits my dh to a T. When I subsequently read Melissa's book I felt like I was reading my memoir. Our youngest son, now eight, fits the description as well. I homeschool him and learning about ADD has changed how I handle his symptoms -- his distractibility; extreme emotional responses unwarranted for the situation; impulsivity; etc.

I have a question about letting go.  I am new here, and I have not read any books or anything yet.

I keep hearing about not trying to be logical in a completely illogical situation.... just not to engage in the debate.

I do feel like I have done this in the past, not as a tool, but because I really believed him when it was turned around on me.... but it did still happen.  I thought everything was my fault.

I have been sick the past week.  I'm feeling better now, but I realize just how much my partner cannot be there for me and actually makes the bumps in the road of life even harder than they have to be.  Here's just some of the things I've had to deal with this past week:

Not eating for 4 days because I was too sick to make food, literally could not stand up in the kitchen to prepare anything, because my "partner" refused to make me food or bring me anything.

Yes, there are times that it happens. The spouse who is supposed to be your best friend, who communicates with you, seeks to understand you, is passionate about investing in connecting to you in every possible way, when she has ADHD, often forgets that you even exist.