Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have a question about letting go.  I am new here, and I have not read any books or anything yet.

I keep hearing about not trying to be logical in a completely illogical situation.... just not to engage in the debate.

I do feel like I have done this in the past, not as a tool, but because I really believed him when it was turned around on me.... but it did still happen.  I thought everything was my fault.

I have been sick the past week.  I'm feeling better now, but I realize just how much my partner cannot be there for me and actually makes the bumps in the road of life even harder than they have to be.  Here's just some of the things I've had to deal with this past week:

Not eating for 4 days because I was too sick to make food, literally could not stand up in the kitchen to prepare anything, because my "partner" refused to make me food or bring me anything.

Yes, there are times that it happens. The spouse who is supposed to be your best friend, who communicates with you, seeks to understand you, is passionate about investing in connecting to you in every possible way, when she has ADHD, often forgets that you even exist.  

This is my very first time on this website AND talking about my husband's ADHD. He was never diagnosed until after he married me, and began taking medication about 6 months ago (just started Adderall a couple days ago) and is also on an anti depressant/anxiety. We have been married almost 2 years. I am 38 and about to graduate as a respiratory therapist in May (previously a preschool teacher), and my husband is 40 and an architect (not one that makes 6 figures however :) - common assumption). We started trying for a baby in January (if you can call sex twice in 1 month trying).

I am dreading our 19th wedding anniversary this summer...just like I dread Valentine's Day, his birthday, and Christmas around him.  I just want it ALL to go away...as it relates to him.  I have been married to a man who points fingers at everyone else.  It's ALWAYS someone else's fault.  Honestly, I can't make up my mind if it's ADHD, Narcisstic Personality Disorder, Depression…or a combination of all three.  What I DO know is our relationship (if you can call it that) is toxic.  We have three boys (ages 9, 12, and 13), all of whom want their Dad to “go away”.  My oldest son feels this ver

Hello, this is my first post, and I am new to the concept of ADD and its impact on our family. My wife (of 14 years) has very recently been diagnosed with ADD Inattentive type - though she does not accept it openly (I believe in her heart she knows it to be true). For me this was a revelation. I asked the ADD specialist who diagnosed my wife, to recommend books to help me understand the condition. My goal, to be better able to deal with the impact ADD has on me, my two young boys, and to be able to support my wife and be the best husband I can possibly be.

Earlier this week hubby sent me an e-mail with a link to adhd, so I did some research and realised all my unhappiness for many years with him was down to this, I said nothing but ordered the book ADHD is it me and researched in the meantime.  Eureka he found out what was wrong with him.  At last me and the kids have a chance at happiness.  Well I gave him the book this morning and was astounded when he told me he had sent the link because I had adhd.  I am sitting here crying now I think I might really go mad I just don`t want to go on. 

My husband has been seeing a therapist for approximately 8 months.  I encouraged this and still think it's a good idea.  But my husband doesn't seem to be making progress.  I asked him today if he exposes himself to the therapist.  He asked what I meant.  I said I meant showing his vulnerabilities, saying things such as, "I've been seeing you for eight months and I'm still depressed" or "I'm tired all the time, the kind of tired that makes me unable to get things done."  My husband said that no, he doesn't talk to the therapist about these things.

So I've been reading Delivered From Distraction and oh my, it is enlightening. I've been reading tons of books about ADD. As I've mentioned on this board, my DH was diagnosed in college almost 20 years ago, but I never took it seriously (we've been married for 13 years) and he hasn't had any real treatment since he quit taking meds after he became a bit of a "dealer" in college. He had a breakdown of sorts just over a year ago.

I have a relationship with a man with ADHD that recently ended.  I love him so much.  I am heartbroken that it ended, but without counseling, we were at an impasse.  It had become less than functional.  We were not married, but I believed it was serious.  He was the only man I've ever considered marrying, but maybe I was just confusing my hopes with what was real.  I am so confused.  His actions never really matched up to his words.  ADHD, or was he just not that into me?  I am very generous and supportive and can often give "too much" without realizing and perhaps be taken for granted.  I