Recent forum posts (all topics)

Suggestions wanted on a very odd outcome of a highly anticipated dinner date

Let me have some input please.  We have been working with surviving the chaos caused by my spouse's ADHD traits for a long while, so I will admit it is difficult for me to get out of the mothering mode into the partnership mode.  Facts from my paradigm:

Spouse is leaving for out of town for 4 days, 3 nights.

Asks if I want to go out for dinner, specifically mentioning 'to spent time with me' before he left.

I responded yes.  I am going out shopping in the AM with my friends, not sure what time I'll be home, but it will be 2-3ish. 

Emotion

I said, "I am going to grow up.  I am going to stop letting my emotions rule me.  I will feel the emotion.  Stop to think of what and why that emotion is with me.  What I want to do about the emotion.  Then I will let the emotion go.  I permitted the ideas and feelings of romance and love and art and sensitivity be part of who I am too much.  I must stop that now and be mature and be accountable for my own emotional well-being."    He said, "You and I are the exact opposites.  You have too much emotion.  I have none at all.  I try to feel emotion, but I can't"  

Tech Envy

I know some women who wish they were billboard bodies with

airbrushed perfect princess curves, but my desire is to have the unbreakable glass and

entrancing dim glow of an ipad tablet that you would stare at for hours and

never turn away.

I wish all the holes I have to fill, the need and loneliness and fear were,

rather, spaces in the New York Times crossword puzzle (online edition)

compelling you with some transcendent force

to find any way to work, to solve to and to complete,  and I picture myself with 

DENIAL, PATTERN FIGHTING, CYCLING, BLAME GAME

My ADHD husband and I are about a hair away from divorce.  The email you read the last session was similar to what I experience my anger is terrible.  I just want to shake him so that maybe he can see the patterns.  Tonight for instance we come home from having dinner out we can't find a parking spot and I say to him "maybe you can get the work truck out of the driveway?"  (it's been parked in our driveway for almost a year and there's also a disabled pickup in my mother's driveway for about three years) he says "well if I had time, you know I don't stay home and watch tv all day"  this spa

Medications to help with DESR and emotions

My husband has recently been diagnosed with ADHD.  His doctor has started him on ritalin.  It has seems to help with his focus... but that was never really our biggest concern with this disability.  Its his emotions or lack of control over them that really hurts our family.  I know he has DESR (deficient emotional self-regulation) which from what I've read approx 50% of adults with ADHD suffer from.  He gets so upset about trivial things... fits of rage... teeth clenched..

need some kind words to reassure against time/task management overwhelm

Hey everyone,

Just looking for a bit of support.  I feel like I am barely treading water and am looking for hope.  There is WAY TOO MUCH going on in my life and I don't know how I will manage it all.  Just some kind words & reassurance from those who have been through this.  I've had good periods before but am going through a bad one.

I am at the start of a new phase of life:

Does it ever get any better?

After years and years of all kinds of therapy and med cocktails, he's getting worse.  Does it ever get any better?  Or, am I just stuck with whatever the day holds?  DH has ADD with high anxiety.  Has been on meds and in therapy for too long.  Nothing is changing and in fact, is getting worse.  Not sure what to do or which direction to go next.  Any advice is appreciated. 

Thinking about taking the live couples seminar....

Forum: 

But, I don't think I can convince my husband, who doesn't want to admit he has ADD and gets really upset when I say I think this will help us.  I really do think this could be THE solution for us.  I am tired of taking care of everything and don't want to live being mad all the time, my choice, I know.... but I am really feeling so unimportant. 

I want him to join with me in the seminar.  Anyone else having this experience?

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