Recent forum posts (all topics)

I know you are all going to jump on me for only giving it a year but I entered this relationship hoping it would be a long and meaningful journey....

On our first date she was late (even though she only lived two blocks away and I travelled over 50 kms) and she didn't even mention it or apologise, an introduction of worse things to come.

Hi all,

Hi, all. I've been to this website and forum on and off for the past year.  As I write this post, I have such a deep well of pain in the center of my heart that I feel it is going to swallow me whole. I have been married to my ADHD husband for six years (this month is our anniversary), and only put together that he had adult ADHD about a year ago. He was previously divorced but it seemed that the reason of his previous divorce were not related to ADHD but to a difference in life goals and compatibility. I remember before I married him, I had some fears, but don't we all?

My husband now has two speeding tickets within 12 months.  One more would lead to suspension of his driver's license.  Me driving him is not an option; he commutes 280 miles (round trip) to and from his job as a caregiver for his parents once a week.  Do I do anything?

I'm new to this forum and have posted a couple of times.  My partner has ADHD (as well as other disorders). We've only been together 3.5 years. 

I am confused and, as a result, very frustrated about a long-term issue in my relationship.  I am sure this is an issue for other people who are in relationships with individuals with ADHD and so I hope that readers (and bloggers:  Melissa, help please!) will offer their thoughts.

(A) Here are some facts about relationships generally.

1) Relationship problems often arise from the behavior/response/response cycle.

2) This means that both the person who engages in the original behavior and the person who responds contribute to whatever is happening.

This is what really frustrates me about being married w/children to my husband with ADHD. I have to be perfect. I don't mean perform every task perfectly. I mean I have to have complete and total control over every emotion and response I have 100% of the time. I can be frustrated, but I don't get to show it. I can be angry, but I don't get to show it. I don't understand how any of this is supposed to help.

I’ve been married for 19 years to a wonderful man who just learned in the last year that he’s had ADHD all his life.  We – everyone – thought his primary illness was Major Depressive Disorder.  But after many years of treatment for depression, when the forgetfulness, distraction, hyperfocus, etc. didn’t go away, a therapist suggested ADHD.  We’ve been reading lots of books and rethinking his whole life.  Now we think that the primary disorder has always been ADHD, and depression developed because of the effects of ADHD on his life and people’s negative reactions to it.

Hello.  ADD Resources is hosting a one day relationship workshop in Bellevue 4/13.  Here is a link if you are interested. Keynote speaker is the comedian who did the PBS specials ADD & Loving It, ADD and Mastering It. 

http://www.addresources.org/?q=node/2285

It started off as a "little blemish" in her behavior and habits before we were married.  Now it's turned into the "devilish groundhog from Hades" and it's only been four years.  Thirty minutes late here, losing car keys there, now I'm concerned if she will lose one of our two children who are under 3.  Sure she's been tested and has built up enough coping strategies to not be officially diagnosed, but that was before children.  That little groundhog has been popping up randomly, biting at my heels, snickering at me, and then darting back into its hole.