Recent forum posts (all topics)

I discovered a great way to negate defensiveness when communicating with my ADHD partner by speaking in generalizations rather than specifics.  For instance if he does something insensitive like make a hurtfull/insensitive comment without thinking how it might make me feel, instead of addressing the specific event, I will wait a few minutes, go and do some chores or something and then address the issue a little later with a comment like, remember, honey, it's nice to be aware of other's people's feelings before you say something that could hurt them.  He will badger me for whether there was

My partner just refuses to compromise ever.  It's only ever his way or the highway.  It is driving me nuts.

Here's a great example:

Where to start.  My husband and I have been married for 14 years and have three beautiful boys, 13, 10, and 8.  Our marriage has been a bit of a roller coaster since our first year.  There were times that things were really great.  He was great with our first child; he would wake up crying at night and my husband would get up with him and walk him up and down the hall to quiet him.  As time went on things started to change.  I can remember the first time that he 'exploded'.  I don't know what it was about, but it was definitely not as if we were having a violent exchange.  He kept getting m

Let me have some input please.  We have been working with surviving the chaos caused by my spouse's ADHD traits for a long while, so I will admit it is difficult for me to get out of the mothering mode into the partnership mode.  Facts from my paradigm:

Spouse is leaving for out of town for 4 days, 3 nights.

Asks if I want to go out for dinner, specifically mentioning 'to spent time with me' before he left.

I responded yes.  I am going out shopping in the AM with my friends, not sure what time I'll be home, but it will be 2-3ish. 

I said, "I am going to grow up.  I am going to stop letting my emotions rule me.  I will feel the emotion.  Stop to think of what and why that emotion is with me.  What I want to do about the emotion.  Then I will let the emotion go.  I permitted the ideas and feelings of romance and love and art and sensitivity be part of who I am too much.  I must stop that now and be mature and be accountable for my own emotional well-being."    He said, "You and I are the exact opposites.  You have too much emotion.  I have none at all.  I try to feel emotion, but I can't"  

I know some women who wish they were billboard bodies with

airbrushed perfect princess curves, but my desire is to have the unbreakable glass and

entrancing dim glow of an ipad tablet that you would stare at for hours and

never turn away.

I wish all the holes I have to fill, the need and loneliness and fear were,

rather, spaces in the New York Times crossword puzzle (online edition)

compelling you with some transcendent force

to find any way to work, to solve to and to complete,  and I picture myself with 

My ADHD husband and I are about a hair away from divorce.  The email you read the last session was similar to what I experience my anger is terrible.  I just want to shake him so that maybe he can see the patterns.  Tonight for instance we come home from having dinner out we can't find a parking spot and I say to him "maybe you can get the work truck out of the driveway?"  (it's been parked in our driveway for almost a year and there's also a disabled pickup in my mother's driveway for about three years) he says "well if I had time, you know I don't stay home and watch tv all day"  this spa

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Texas who is in private practice and also works with a large college. I also have an adult family member who has ADHD.

My husband has recently been diagnosed with ADHD.  His doctor has started him on ritalin.  It has seems to help with his focus... but that was never really our biggest concern with this disability.  Its his emotions or lack of control over them that really hurts our family.  I know he has DESR (deficient emotional self-regulation) which from what I've read approx 50% of adults with ADHD suffer from.  He gets so upset about trivial things... fits of rage... teeth clenched..

Hey everyone,

Just looking for a bit of support.  I feel like I am barely treading water and am looking for hope.  There is WAY TOO MUCH going on in my life and I don't know how I will manage it all.  Just some kind words & reassurance from those who have been through this.  I've had good periods before but am going through a bad one.

I am at the start of a new phase of life: