Recent forum posts (all topics)

I purposely stayed away from this message board for about a week. My husband left, and I read through and contributed to several posts in here trying to understand what's going on.

I've been telling my friends about the situation, what led to all of this, and why I felt ADHD was contributing to my husband's unhappiness in our marriage.  I also explained how there were so many unfair things in our marriage, such as him not looking for a job, me having to be the mommy and keeping him on track, and so on, and how I blamed ADHD.

I am almost three months pregnant and my DH has no shown any interest in me or this pregnancy, unless he wants to have sex that is. I do all the housework, I take care of the dog, I cook (or he doesnt eat) , and I do ALL of the household shopping. He goes to work and comes home to the computer (we have netflix). I was at my breaking point before I found out I was pregnant and thinking of separation. The unexpected pregnancy has thrown a wrench in my "get away". Im so unhappy with him, and our relationship. He just recently started taking non-stimulant medication for his ADHD.

I go in and out of deep mourning for the loss of my marriage.  I'm not divorced; my husband is not dead; but the combination of ADHD, depression, and perhaps a personality disorder have affected him so much that I believe that our relationship is not one of mutually supportive partners and that it never will be.   I realize that it would probably help if we were divorced, but right now, that is not yet a possibility.

I keep doing the wrong things.

Over the years dh has talked a lot about "unconditional love" as though it is the holy grail for all relationships.  Me, always one to try to see "all sides" to every coin, tried to accomadate this notion toward my own "growth" and liberal perspective. He would treat me like I was invisible, do and say hurtful things and then at night say to me, "A good marriage means to never go to bed angry." In other words, it was up to me to do all the work of forgiving him for his lack of love and then forget, forgive and love him - I did that....stuffing how it really made me feel.

I am trying to look at myself for answers about why I find myself in this marriage and why I stay when clearly it is so difficult.  I was taught about love in church.  The model of love was sacrifice.  If you sacrificed your life and your needs to someone else, it was considered LOVE.  I was of the age when MY marriage vows had the words in it of "promise to obey" and his words had "promise to love". My parents taught me to obey and behave and have manners.  In school years I was many times on various teams - sport teams, work committees - working for a common cause.

I feel like I'm on here every other day with some new horrible development, but my adhd partner just shoved me hard out of our bathroom.  The door was open and he was in there getting ready to take a shower.  I had cut my finger so I walked in to get something to put on it and I've been in the bathroom when he's in there all the time so you can imagine my shock when he started yelling at me to get out.  I was so stunned actually that I guess I didn't move fast enough for him because he then proceeded to shove me out the door physically!  I am in such a state of shock right now, but the wors

My sweet husband has ADHD and I am finally realizing how much I don’t know about it and NEED to know about it. I love him very much and want to be supportive and I'm 100% for our marriage... So I’m studying everything like a hawk, especially Melissa’s book.

So,I decided that after the holidays it would be a new start for me where I would find my sanity and end my marriage.Wrong! I am soo mad right now because even if I want to walk away right now it's just so hard for me and I am so overwhelmed by all this drama.The breaking of the new year was my turning point to move on with my life and start over fresh and find back my happiness that was taken from me two plus years now.