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Any of you have ADHD as well as your spouse?

I am diagnosed ADHD. My husband is undiagnosed ADHD. Our daughter, who is now turning 6, is most likely ADHD. My first obstacle is getting them diagnosed. I was fortunate to be diagnosed quite a while back when I was 17. My husband is willing to get the assessment and treatment, but the problem is finding someone who doesn't cost an arm and a leg. We have insurance, but a lot of psychologists don't take insurance; at least not for this. My first goal is to get him on medication, just to stop the bleeding. After that, we can focus on the next step.

At my wit's end.... Please advise

Background: I've been with my ADD partner for about 18 months. We've lived together since day one as we were housemates before we were a couple. He hasn't been formally diagnose with ADD although he has finally made an appointment with a doctor and is waiting for a referral - I don't think either of us is in any doubt that he does have ADD.

New to this site, new to my marriage to ADHD hubby, need advice...

Just a quick background, my husband and I have been together for 3 years, married for 5 months. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen and he’s aware he has it. I’ve never educated myself on the disorder and since have dismissed it because I figure we all have our issues. We used to get along very well. In the beginning of our relationship it was my commitment issues and me taking things personally that put a strain on us, he was always more nurturing and patient than me, which is part of the reason why I love him.

What to do about his endless anger-triggering thoughts

What I saw:

Him walking over to the table and throwing a stack of paper onto the table with an angry expression on his face.

Him sitting back in his chair and angrily throwing a pencil and some papers on the table.

Saying disrespectful, unkind things to me, like "You can leave. Go away!" in front of the kids.

Calling a timeout but not circling back to the conversation, nor starting the talk again.

Being sarcastic towards me when we were leaving to get on a plane. "Send me your complaints!" was the last thing he called after me as I walked away.

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