Quit picking on me!
Hi everyone,
Hi everyone,
2 years ago I was diagnosed with ADD. I am a young (27) mother of 3 beautiful kids, a wife, a student, a daughter, and a friend to many good people. I am one lucky woman, but I didn't always feel this way. After my daughter started displaying ADD symptoms, I realized that I could relate as a child to exactly what she is going through. School, and relationships with others were always a struggle. Even though I had many friends, I always just felt like nobody "got" me. Teachers and everyone around me would always tell me I needed to try harder, or get it together.
My ADHD husband is crazy! I am so focused on work and my kids that I don't have any room for any sad moments or any chaos right now,is that so hard for him to comprehend?
Apologies in advance for the long post - this is the first time I've ever gotten any of this out. I have read through SO many posts on this board, and it is amazing how much I can relate to so many of you. Whilst I have derived comfort from this, it also scares the absolute hell out of me.
I have been with my boyfriend for four years now (lived together for three), we are both in our early-mid twenties. He has just been diagnosed with severe ADHD - we are at the beginning of the process at the moment, so I am unsure as to what sub-type etc. at this stage.
I left my ADD husband in August. He has refused to answer emails or pick up phone calls since. Does anyone have an answer for this specific problem?
This morning turned into an explosion for the nth time in a row. The last few months our relationship has been deteriorating even further and this week has been so trying I have called into work yesterday and today because I was so jarred and upset by everything. This morning he screamed at our daughter to "Get back into bed" at 6:30 when she woke up. As though she were doing something wrong; when we normally wake up at 5:30. When he came back in our room after stomping away from her I asked him quietly and calmly what time it was.
With my ADHD husband, there is a reason for everything. Every inaction or thoughtless action is well defended or responsibility deftly deflected with a series of reasons, explanations, or "facts", presenting him in the most favorable and well meaning way possible. He is very intelligent, and I think he is subconsciously extraordinarily manipulative in avoiding unpleasant or unrewarding tasks and would rather argue with me for hours making both of us miserable than face those tasks.
Does anyone have any good recommendations for a therapist in the LA area for couple's therapy and adhd marriages? My husband and I are recently separated after only 5 months of marriage and I am desperate to get some help. He has ADHD and major avoidance/anxiety/denial issues. Our current therapist doesn't quite feel right even though my husband seems to think she's fine. I, on the other hand, feel like she hasn't really given us many concrete and practical tools to address our issues and she doesn't really seem all that present.
I have a decision to make here and have no real good info to help support me going one way or another on it - so I thought I'd pose the question here and maybe I can get some good insight from others to help me figure this out.
I have a friend with diagnosed ADHD. She is honest, sincere, contemplative, curious about life. She tells it like it is and accepts and is open with the fact that her mind works differently. I usually don't SEE it in her but she tells me how she compensates. She takes care of herself, finding her joy and being productive. She is open in saying that she does not want anyone to have to depend on her and she doesn't want to be in a position where she must depend on someone else. I know that she may one day stop communication because her life goes in different directions at whim.