Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hello, everyone.

(The Short Story) I've noticed there's a lot of threads in here about ADHD spouses -- diagnosed or not -- who in turn are in denial and unwilling to make changes.  What if you are on the other side of the fence? 

What if you just found out you are ADHD and you desperately want to make changes, but your non-ADHD spouse has already given up before you were ever diagnosed...  before you ever realized what was causing the problems?

I don't know what to do. I wish I had found this forum before I got married.

I am so grateful that I found this website. Most of what I've read is very comforting, because hearing people's stories reassures me that I am not alone. I would love some feedback on my situation...

Historically any time my husband and I go out of town is is nothing but a fight fest.

The sad part is the reason we had a good trip is I resolved to not say a word unless it became a life threatening event.

The road rage, yelling at other cars, slipping off the road and driving so fast it's terrifying.

It's odd to me that he thinks all is well.

He's happiest when there is basically zero interaction and he can do exactly what he wants.

Definitely isn't the partnership that most folks consider to be a given in marriage.

I'm going through a divorce/separation and need some support.

I live with my undiagnosed ADD partner and have been feeling really frustrated and resentful.  We have been together for 7+ years and only in year 5 did I finally realize what the problem is when a friend a mine was telling my about his ADD wife.  I started to read more about it and am 100% sure she is ADD even though she's never been diagnosed.  I wondered if there are degrees of ADD?  Does it really matter since any diagnosis of ADD is considered severe enough to be an issue?  I've told her she's ADD.  She doesn't get mad.

Over the past several days, I discovered that my husband had lost a source of income for the summer; lied to me about it repeatedly; and got a speeding ticket.  He admitted to being depressed and indicated that he might be willing to see a therapist again.

I went to a therapist, as I needed strategies to cope with my husband.  I couldn't figure out what was going on and I needed objective help.  I showed her a couple of pages from my journal and she INSTANTLY said, "He has ADHD."  Because of what my therapist said, I figured out that my teenage daughter has ADHD and my sister-in-law figured out that her daughter has ADHD (neither of us told our husbands how we 'discovered' this).  Their diagnoses were confirmed by professionals and they're on meds.

This is the first time I have been on this sight. I am amazed at how many of these issues sound like our life. It is so good to know that there is hope. My wife was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago. I knew there was something wrong but it is obvious from what I have read here today that I have went about this all wrong when approaching her. My question is what effect does taking adderall combined with welbutrin have on my wife's personality? My wife has always been super defensive about anything I say.

I guess what I did was sacrifice myself.  I thought it was noble and needed.  I thought a person who cared made some sacrifices for those they loved. I thought that a family (or anything worth building) sometimes took some sacrificing to happen.  I still believe that. I learned about sacrifice from church, as a woman, as a worker, in literature, from models of happy families around me. I lived by the thought that I gave for the good of the bigger picture.  It was all supposed to be worth it in the end.