Recent forum posts (all topics)

47 years of marriage to someone with severe ADHD, and I feel like my life has been one big sacrifice.

I am being referred for an adult assessment. My youngest daughter is also waiting for assessment. I have been reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage. I can see a lot of things that have contributed to a lot of the issues in our relationship and also other relationships of mine. 

I started the spring project of landscaping a berm that is 200 sq ft.  It had been left uncared for for years..... overgrown and mixing the grass around it with the crown vetch.  I was making a perimeter and shoveling a foot into the margin to start this project.  H wants to help.  So he is kneeling down and picking out tiny pieces of dead sticks from the ground between the leaves.  I commented about what I was doing and what I hoped to accomplish and that my back will start to hurt soon.  I asked if he would do some of the heavy shoveling for a while.  That was half an hour ago.

I've known my wife for almost my entire life. We dated and married young, but rapidly lost interest in her.
I'm at a point of trying to find reasons to keep us together although she never lost her will.

We have this reoccurring problem in ALL of our arguments.   I say he's just being avoidant, he says he needs time to "process" what I'm saying.   We need to break this cycle and I'm not sure I'm in the wrong, but maybe I am and could use help.

Any time we have an issue, he won't bring it up.  In the early days of my relationship, when I would bring it up, he'd accuse me of starting an argument at an inappropriate time.  Which, of course, would start an argument. 

Hi All,

I am posting my story in hope that someone may be able to provide some guidance and words of wisdom?

My wife has recently been diagnosed by a psychologist with ADHD.

Together: 16 years (Married 11 years)

Children x 2 under 6

Announced Jan 2022 that she was done with the relationship

Brief History

How do I tell my husband, I think he has ADHD? 

I was late diagnosed with ADHD in my early 30s and am still trying to adjust, adapt and improve my life and my self-esteem. This has been extremely challenging with my diagnosis coming after a child and all the maternal worries, guilt and anxieties with that. I have had previous treatment for anxiety. 

However, I thought I would have support from my partner post-diagnosis. I know it isn't an easy journey but (wrongly) thought he would be there helping and supporting. This hasn't been the case. 

Seeking help, because I'm questioning my sanity and reality. Non-adhd spouse. Very soon to be ex-spouse. After 3 years, last month I put a firm boundary in place and have stayed true to it this time. After years of being yelled at, sworn at, public scenes, this has come to an end for me. 

My spouse has taken this news from one extreme to the other. From literally rolling around on the floor sobbing (zero coping mechanisms) to sarcasm and continued criticism.