Just to start things off, I'm not actually married to my boyfriend. Largely because we're a same-sex couple, and there's no marriage equality in the state we live in. That said, I think this could still be a good resource for me.
I'm in a relationship with a friend who's undiagnosed. We were friends for a few years before. His ADHD is driving me up the wall. I understand the communication issues because I have them but I make the effort especially as we are in a long distance relationship. I've always made an effort with more or less success depending whether medicated or not but I'm aware.
This goes out to those in marriages/relationships either with both partners or one with ADD/ADHD.
I don't know about other individuals, but for myself it seems that when a boundary is set and choice is made to be non-negotiable...the unexpected becomes the expectation of compromising.
What works for some does not work for all. Appeasing the other person with or without ADD/ADHD means that at times we have to compromise ourselves in order to satisfy the other person.
I would like to know how people told their spouse that they suspect he (she) has ADHD. What worked, what didn't, what would you have done differently?
My ADD husband quit his job nearly a year ago. He seems overwhelmed and unable to make decisions about what to do next. Although I have a good job, it isn't enough to cover the bills and feed us, so we've had to cash in some retirement to pay off bills, and I am at the point of taking away any way that he can spend money - checkbooks, credit cards, everything once I pay off the next round. I find myself feeling like I have another kid in the house and I know that isn't good for either one of us.
Seeing as how the other posting I had under this title got to be a bit long I thought it would be beneficial to start a new thread on it. I also thought it prudent to do so seeing as how so much has changed since that original thread. I wrote the last time seeking answers to a question, a chance at grasping the sands of hope slipping through my fingers. I’m in a better place now and have a different take on this subject so I wanted to provide some of the insight as it applies to me. I’m not being selfish, I just don’t wish to assume I know how others feel so please take me with a grain
I have been married for 13 years and found out a few years ago I had ADHD. It all made since, the trouble in school, making the wrong decisions, trouble with financial reports etc. I have ruined my marriage, alienated my wife, kids and her family. Im loosing my wife and son in a current divorce. Work is fine and starting to really improve. My medication does not seem to work for long, maybe a few hours. But I have made the choices that got me here. How much of that can be ADHD? I fell like its a copout to blame the ADHD. I could see this all coming but its like it was a hologram a
I have been married for 42 years and probably have ADD. I read the book and it fits to a "TEE" My wife has taken the track that I can do nothing right or in time.She is right and I am wrong period. She gives me no credence and controls everything. She tells me how to drive, dress what to eat, and what not. She even corrects me in public. If I forget something, it escalates almost out of hand.
Despite what I see as a change in my attitude, willingness, and desire to address my ADHD symptoms (purchasing and using books, listening to seminars, validating his feelings, anger, and frustrations, using a planner more frequently and ultimately being more self-aware of the impact my symptoms play in my life), my non-ADHD partner refuses to engage as part of a collaborative team.
Hello Melissa and all the ADDers out there I have been back from Iraq for about six months now and my marriage has well not been so good. When I came back I hyper focused on fixing are marriage. We tried going to marriage counseling a few times and Here is the part where you husbands out there with ADHD need to listen too. Marriage counseling and meds are not a fix for your marriage so don't make the mistake I did and pretend that everything is ok and go on pretending that your marriage is fine. The one thing I have learned is first thing is first you need to seek your own counseling an
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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