Recent forum posts (all topics)

Well, it's been awhile since my last post so here goes.....baby steps, but going in the right direction.  Two weeks ago we sat down and had a real "heart to heart" if you will.  After that I made the decision to pull back and let go...and let the chips fall where they may.  Well its working or at least I think it is....a week ago we had a minor meltdown on his part due to him not paying attention to my whole statement and only hearing part of it, making an assumption and getting pissed.  When I looked at him and asked him to look at me and listen to the whole statement, he got it.  He then

We had a bit of a break this summer, and I really chilled out. My parents were mostly taking care of the kids most of the time and we were around a lot of people, which always makes my husband behave better. I've been worrying about what would happen once we got back to our normal life, just us and the kids, and needing to be on a schedule for school. Well, it's all fallen apart quickly.

I kept looking for a thread for my topic, but I've given up and decided to go the direct route.

First and formost thank god for this website and for all of you out there struggling with an add/ADHD SPOUSE. i cant say how much you all have helped me by sharing your stories, being the non adhd spouse is an extremely Lonely place to be and it helps to know im not alone after all. I had no clue how many people were living lives just like mine. This post would be about a month long if i statred from the begining so ill just say that ive been with my husband for 17 years. It has been a rollercoster to say the least. My husband is add and my 13 year old son is adhd.

Sorry everybody, I have a quick vent. Reminder I am the non ADHD partner. Well, to be honest I definitely have a minor version of it, but nothing like true blue adhders have.  For those of you with adhd/add and are treating it guns a 'blazing, you have my deepest respect!!! 

it's been only a few weeks since my emotianal breakdown and in the midst of screaming "this is just not normal" at everyone around me, wondering the ever consuming "is it me? or is it everyone else" that I found my way to a doctor and counselor who ever so non-chalantly said adhd sounds like the demon your after. after  a bunch of tests it was confirmed.

day one: denial-my life is over (if it ever began) is anything I thought real actually real or was it a lifetime of "filling in the blanks" with random stuff.

I was diagnosed with AD(H)D back in April of this year(2011). Prior to this profound discovery, the communication with my newly married wife was starting to get worse and worse, some days we speak no more than "Hi, Hello, I love you (seems hollow), Goodbye, and so on. We had been seeing an MFT and myself with anxiety disorder that was masked with an undiagnosed ADHD. My wife bless her heart is a VERY intelligent woman BSN in Nursing, BA in Psychology. She had suggested I get tested for ADHD. I had agreed and the finding was yes in fact I do have ADHD.

Here's a brief rundown: My wife has ADD. She is forgetful to the extreme, always looking for keys, always late for things, defensive when given the slightest bit of criticism. Over the years, she has been asked to do the same things over and over again, and she seems to be unable to learn.

My partner is one of the poster child cases.  He has never been diagnosed, though, and doesn't believe in ADHD.

When we were getting dressed yesterday, I had to tell him to put on a clean shirt.  We had the same conversation the previous morning, but on that day he had already put on the dirty shirt and was too overwhelmed by the concept of changing.  So yesterday I caught him in time and he finally abandoned the tee shirt he had been wearing for five days, including two of yardwork.  Next!

This is about anger and communications.

I am an ADDer married to a non.  Just read your book ADHD effect on Marriage.  Very good information from the ADHD side.  Most of the information my wife sends me is all about the ADHD person and very little about the non.  This was a great two sided discussion.