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Sorry everybody, I have a quick vent. Reminder I am the non ADHD partner. Well, to be honest I definitely have a minor version of it, but nothing like true blue adhders have.  For those of you with adhd/add and are treating it guns a 'blazing, you have my deepest respect!!! 

it's been only a few weeks since my emotianal breakdown and in the midst of screaming "this is just not normal" at everyone around me, wondering the ever consuming "is it me? or is it everyone else" that I found my way to a doctor and counselor who ever so non-chalantly said adhd sounds like the demon your after. after  a bunch of tests it was confirmed.

day one: denial-my life is over (if it ever began) is anything I thought real actually real or was it a lifetime of "filling in the blanks" with random stuff.

I was diagnosed with AD(H)D back in April of this year(2011). Prior to this profound discovery, the communication with my newly married wife was starting to get worse and worse, some days we speak no more than "Hi, Hello, I love you (seems hollow), Goodbye, and so on. We had been seeing an MFT and myself with anxiety disorder that was masked with an undiagnosed ADHD. My wife bless her heart is a VERY intelligent woman BSN in Nursing, BA in Psychology. She had suggested I get tested for ADHD. I had agreed and the finding was yes in fact I do have ADHD.

Here's a brief rundown: My wife has ADD. She is forgetful to the extreme, always looking for keys, always late for things, defensive when given the slightest bit of criticism. Over the years, she has been asked to do the same things over and over again, and she seems to be unable to learn.

My partner is one of the poster child cases.  He has never been diagnosed, though, and doesn't believe in ADHD.

When we were getting dressed yesterday, I had to tell him to put on a clean shirt.  We had the same conversation the previous morning, but on that day he had already put on the dirty shirt and was too overwhelmed by the concept of changing.  So yesterday I caught him in time and he finally abandoned the tee shirt he had been wearing for five days, including two of yardwork.  Next!

This is about anger and communications.

I am an ADDer married to a non.  Just read your book ADHD effect on Marriage.  Very good information from the ADHD side.  Most of the information my wife sends me is all about the ADHD person and very little about the non.  This was a great two sided discussion.

Hi Everyone,

I've been away and wanted to post about my positive experience.

I spent two weeks with my family at my father in law's house.  My husband and his siblings wanted to have a weekend celebration for their father, who turned 80.  My husband and I decided to make a vacation out of it and get there a couple weeks before the event so that the kids would have time with their grandfather.

I found this site after asking my husband what he was reading on his phone, he wouldnt tell me so I looked myself, and found that he was reading an article from here about being married to someone with ADHD.. I was diagnosed with it when I was a child, but I also had a very hard home life with an alcoholic mother and acreditted alot of my childhood abnormalities to that. I made horrible grades in most subjects and then would have the highest grade in the class in others, my parents just thought I was lazy and only cares about what interested me.

I found this quote today and thought I would share.  Everyone have a great day!!

"You don't have to understand someone to love them, but you have to love someone to understand them"

Sorry, that's the title of a song I like.   But that's my question.  How do you deal with lonely?  We both work long hours but when are home, we aren't home together.  He'd rather send me an email from his computer (downstairs) to me at my computer (upstairs) than talk to me in person.  I suggest sharing a glass of wine and 15 minutes of conversation.  He says sure, and wanders away with his glass after 5 minutes.  I prepare dinner and he turns on the television while we're eating.  I suggest a project to work together on, and he agrees, disappearing to "get something" and never comes back.