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My husband of 6 years has adhd, and has barely worked since we got married.

Hello everybody,

 First off, THANK YOU for existing. I'm so grateful to have found this site! 

I am a 37 year old married male with no children.  I was diagnosed with bipolar type II two years ago and with inattentive type ADHD four months ago.  A psychiatrist diagnosed me with the BPII, and an LPCC who specializes in diagnostic testing diagnosed the ADHD (she calls it attention superior disorder, though I am not sure what that is).  The LPCC does not believe that I have BP; my psychiatrist, after reading the LPCC’s assessment, thinks that I have both conditions; and my own individual therapist believes I have BP, but that I am in denial about its impact on me, and that, if I do have

I'm relatively new here, hope I'm positing this in the right place. 

"God, grant me the knowledge of a way that will work for me, the humility to work it and the power to follow it through"

A simple (or at least trying to be) ADHD-partner (using meds, working with an ADHD coach and working "a way that works for me").

(inspired by the Serenity Prayer, 12-Step recovery's 11th Step and my own search for a way that works for me)

I've read the majority of the book, but it looks like the bookmark is on page 165 and step 4 communication.  ADD has kept me from finishing the book, even though I'm in a very serious situation.  My wife's last blow up got my attention enough to try something, so I Googled and found a pretty good book.  Notice how I say "pretty good" as I'm pretty much incapable of saying anything is "great."  This goes to an entire 18 year marriage and 21 year relationship.  I will admit I found the book quite humorous as it described my married life very well.

I don't know what to believe anymore!!!  DH told me that the doctor took him off his meds and that he has an appointment next Monday (I am guessing there is no appointment).  Now I find out that he is telling others that he took himself off the meds and that he stopped seeing the counselor too and that he doesn't need any help, "If it ain't broke...dont fix it".  He is blaming me for everything (told them that he is done with it all and if I don't like him the way he is I can leave) and told one of our friends that if I saw him "kill an ant" I would tell him he needed therapy.  Then there a

What is the best way to get through to an ADHDer if trying to convey that there are really serious issues that need to be addressed?  Is face-to-face better, or is it more effective in written form (a letter printed out and handed to them, not email) to give them a chance to sort through emotions/defensiveness/impulsiveness before having to respond?

I stumbled upon this website and can't stop reading the posts because it all sounds so familiar. I am sure my husband has undiagnosed adhd and am pretty much 100% positive that if he was a child growing up now that he would have been diagnosed and treated at a very young age. He has many of the symptoms and to a very high degree -- as a child, he struggled in school, was put in special ed classes because he was unable to focus and concentrate, impulse control problems, anger issues, inability to focus long enough to read a book.

 My oldest is 4 and was diagnosed with Autism at 2 and I have a 2 year old, both boys.  I have been with my husband 13 years married for 7 and spent a vast majority of them thinking I was crazy and everything was all my fault.  I've dealt with guilt, frustration, gone on medications everything but for some reason nothing changed. huh go figure.  Finally found a therapist that introduced me to ADHD and BINGO there is the Kaos.  My husband is undiagnosed and has refused to admit he  is anything but perfect - until recently.  He has and appt.