Recent forum posts (all topics)

Running out of time!

It was not until my husband sought therapy for what we thought was depression, that he was officially diagnosed at 38 with ADHD.  He was unhappy in the marriage due to lack of intimacy and he filed for divorce. It has almost been a year and I have delayed the court proceedings as long as I possibly can.  But I am running out of time.  I had no idea how much the ADHD had affected our relationship.

Where it has led

I figured out today that I Am ADHD. I am 63' a widower. My wife.committed suicide in 1999' when our children were 16 and 12. They both have college degrees and jobs. I retired at 59 Iin 2007, had a stroke in 2009', sustained an injury in feb. 2009 and have chronic pain and a visual impairment. I had $80,000 in liquid assets in 2009, and nothing now. I can't drive, can't buy a date,pay for a caregiver and realize I thrived under the demands of single parenthood and crumbled in retirement. Is this how we inattentive adhds end up? My therPist doesn't think I"m ADHD.

Balancing the need for novelty and honoring my wife in the bedroom (sex)

My wife and I have been married for 12 years now.  I'm 46, she's 40.  When I was younger, I had quite the wild side sexually.  At a certain point before we got married, I came into a faith/religious relationship that helped tone me down, and my wife had no experience sexually.

How do I accept that I'll never have a life if I stay married to him

My life is very much about my husband and not about me. I hate it, but, with no job, I can't see a way out.

He has to have everything in our life that's good. He lost his cell, he took mine. When I got home, I got a call from the bank that he'd left it there, which means he can't get it until Monday. (Thankfully, we haven't dropped our lineline like so many people do. You can't lose that.)

Hope and optimism about success of relationship problems

Hi Melissa, This is my first attempt on this forum. My boy friend has ADHD and I learned a lot from your book; it has become my lifeline to save our relationship! Thank you so much for all the effort you have been making for others; it's incredible; I realize that it is very important to feel hopeful about the success of relationship while you are making effort to work on the issue of "ADHD effect". However, I am struggling with it and I can't find a way to feel more positive! Can you suggest some ideas?

Re: Not Listening

Something my ADHD boyfriend was very sensitive about was people saying he wasn't listening; he'd heard it all his life.  What I noticed was that days after we'd had a conversation I was sure he wasn't listening to he'd quote something back.  He was listening.  He just wasn't giving me reason to believe he was.  One day when he was irate about someone yet again saying he wasn't listening I asked him what he did to let them know he was listening.  He tilted his head like "huh" and I told him people need feedback to know you're listening.  Because he is so busy in his own head during convers

The Ah-Ha! Moment

I read Melissa Orlov's book, "The ADHD Effect on Marriage" a few weeks ago.  I gained a whole new appreciation and empathy for my Non-ADHD husband and what it has been like for him to be married to me for the past 18 years!  I was diagnosed about 2 years ago, but I have struggled to get my husband to show much interest in learning about my condition.  I really wanted him to read the book too so that hopefully he could understand the reasons for his own frustrations and maybe also develop some empathy for what it's like for me to live with ADHD every day of my life.  

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